Monday, December 17, 2012

Dressing For Men: Big Boy Socks

It was one of the greatest traumas of my dating/fashion life. 

While on a Starbucks date, he lifted his foot and rested it on his knee, a standard male pose.  

Perhaps I could look past the sensible shoes, but I couldn'tI just couldn't—look pastoh the horrorthethethe

White. Sweat. Socks.  


Black suit, black hat, yet he selected a pair of thick white gym socks. Socks are not supposed to match shirts, bro.

(Weeping into handkerchief) It was terrible.  

Before anyone thinks I am going too harsh on the unfashionable, I also have a bone to pick with the trendy. 

I have noticed that some of the preppy suave—sharp haircuts, a trifle too-slim pants, carefully maintained scruffy beard—opt for rainbow-hued striped socks that protrude disconcertingly from too short trousers

Dudes, every girl has a pair like that stuffed in the rag pile. They got old in, like, 10th grade. I don't want to see a pair of sissy-boy socks on a man, capish

Men's socks are supposed to be boring. Zeh hu.  

If a male wants to kick it up a notch, there's argyle. Or some other pattern that knows its place.
Big boys wear Gold Toe.


Anonymous said...

As a guy I love this post..there's not too much too men's fashion but there are certain rules to live by (Ex. don't tuck in shirt without a belt) usually it's a certain type of guy that would wear white socks with a black suit......unfortunately sounds like you know the type

The Professor said...

Too funny. The whole sock thing is a pet peeve of mine. The worst is when guys wear a suit and ankle socks. Thats even worse then wearing white socks. Its horrible.

Re the socks you pictured, I only partially agree. It really depends on the pattern. Argyle gets boring. Im a fan of Happy Socks. Theyve got some really "different" & neat socks.

Wondering Minds said...

I agree with the Professor.

I know a lot of businessmen, who wear socks similar to those Happy Socks, and it's completely normal, and an expression of ones self.

Eugene said...

Frumanista... I thought you would have mentioned it to him on the date. White socks are a major no-no.

The Beckster said...

White socks? Oy. I feel your pain.
What was he thinking? But I must say that I kind of like quirky/colored socks on a guy (though they do have their time and place!). I mean, guys don't get to have fun with color as much as girls do...They have ties...but still.

Mr. Cohen said...

My advice:

Pay less attention to the clothes that men wear.

Look for a man who knows how and when to keep his mouth shut.

Look for a man who knows how and when to save money.

Sporadic Intelligence said...

White socks are unforgivable. I'm sorry you had to experience that.

I don't agree with you on patterned socks though. While I'm not a fan of the neon colored circus clown variety, women match their purses to their shoes, some men I know, their tie to their socks. It's fun, in a fine way.

Also there are those socks that are solid, but the toe and heel hidden by the shoes are patterned and colored. Those little glimpses when one fiddles with their shoes, or when the foot comes out because the man is leaning forward (and the shoes are slip -ons) are refreshing.

littleduckies said...

Girl, I totally agree with you. BUT, and this is a big BUT, such a thing is changeable, and not a good reason to nix a date. Swallow it, and after a couple of dates, tell him that you think his socks are awful. See what he does then.

Not everything is the end of the world . . .

Tovah11 said...

I'm sorry folks but (and I don't mean to be shallow) that is another BIG RED FLAG! I mean, who is wearing white socks on a date? Also, as far as argyle goes: Too Waspy and looking to be trying too hard to look "hip".

So, yes, white socks can be forgiven but if you aren't Brad Pitt, don't even try it!

Joshua Josephs said...

Yikes. Lets forget the black suit which is standard even though ask any fashion designer and they will say black is for black tie and funerals.

White socks are you serious thats just bad.

There is a simple system, match the color of the socks with the belt and the shoes and the watchband. It almost never fails. Sure its not snazzy but its simple and keeps you from looking like a schlub.
Going a step further, wear the right thickness of sock with the right outfit. Thin hose are worn with black tie, thicker socks with regular suits, and the thickest with camel hair jackets, though good luck seeing a guy under fifty other than myself in camel hair.

Princess Lea said...

Anon: I've got a lot more posts in the holster.

The Professor: Tread carefully! (Pun intended).

WM: As a fashion consultant, I care not for normal. I care for what looks good.

Eugene: It was a really long time ago; but even now I am gutless.

The Beckster: Personal preference, I suppose.

SI: OK, it's official, I'm living in the 50s.

little duckies: Do you seriously think I said no to him because of his socks? SERIOUSLY? What do you take me for? Did I say that anywhere? Conveniently he was also obnoxious.

Tovah: Brad Pitt can get away with a lot of things, bless his pretty face. Even a scraggly beard, for some reason.

JJ: Ah, camel. But doesn't it also depend on how the shoe fits?

Joshua Josephs said...

I would wear thicker socks with shoes like suede or nubuck if I was was wearing cordovan oxfords/bluchers the socks probably do need to still be on the thinner side. Im not sure I really know anyone wearing suede or nubuck these days. Sometimes I scare myself for knowing this. Then Im scared that other guys dont know this sort of stuff.

littleduckies said...

Okay, so I apologize. No, I didn't think you'd actually said no to him because of his socks, but from the sound of the post, I was getting iffy. So, thanks for the correction. ;)

Princess Lea said...

JJ: Do you have any Hungarian blood? It goes with the DNA, male or female. You are not alone.

LD: Glad we're clear. The post's purpose was for fashion, not for dating.

Joshua Josephs said...

Funny that you ask. 1/8th to be precise. Just tell me that paprika makes nearly every meat dish better and we will really be on the same Hungarian page.

Princess Lea said...

See? It's dominant.

I've eaten paprikash once a week for my entire life. No chicken tastes as good.

Joshua Josephs said...

One last thing to check. Do you own a watch and treat it as a timepiece and not just a piece of jewelry.

Princess Lea said...

JJ: That has nothing to do with being Hungarian! I just can't stand technology . . . I use my watch as a watch.