tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017927177231080668.post1709611814117418914..comments2024-02-06T11:57:25.334-05:00Comments on The Frumanista: Your Story is Not My Story IIPrincess Leahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17217157534383672867noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017927177231080668.post-87646837634702383602016-07-07T21:32:09.177-04:002016-07-07T21:32:09.177-04:00How can you show a picture of a girl who is not dr...How can you show a picture of a girl who is not dressed modestly?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017927177231080668.post-57099469437538910652016-07-07T11:56:47.627-04:002016-07-07T11:56:47.627-04:00I thought you might say that, but I'm not sure...I thought you might say that, but I'm not sure it's always true. I would say that hashkafa includes things like openness to the outside world, views of Zionism, thoughts about kula vs chumra vs the middle path. Those can translate to values (e.g. work vs. full-time learning is hashkafa and probably also values), but I'm not sure that they are always identical.<br /><br />I don't usually intrude on other people's conversations, but I dated one of my sister's friends. It didn't work out, but everyone stayed friendly. I don't know if I would do it again, though.Daniel Saundershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07087956908558706584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017927177231080668.post-29118312029487044402016-07-07T11:01:38.031-04:002016-07-07T11:01:38.031-04:00DS: In most cases, hashkafa sort of equates with v...DS: In most cases, hashkafa sort of equates with values. Chances are there will be similarities on some level, but chances are shadchanim aren't astute enough to winkle them out. <br /><br />Sarah: Ah, ye old "finding himself." But I found myself, so I suggest that before he finds someone to marry he should locate himself first. Seems only responsible. What if he finds out he's someone else after marriage? That can't be good. <br /><br />Ah, the creep-azoid! Any other takers at the table? No? So I guess let's dump him on some unsuspecting thing. Don't be picky, dear. <br /><br />I must say, in these last few years I've really honed my sarcasm skills. <br /><br />I would, personally, be a nervous wreck. If it made sense, I would feel obligated to go out, but would lose a few inches of intestine in the process, because what if it's a no from me? If it didn't make sense and the friend would be insulted like "what's wrong with my brother?", I would feel obligated to go out and would lose a few inches of intestine in the process, because I know it is a no and now things will be awkward. Either way, my bowels are done for.<br /><br />Serenity NOW! Princess Leahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17217157534383672867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017927177231080668.post-15720041760158710792016-07-06T15:39:44.625-04:002016-07-06T15:39:44.625-04:00This was so on-point and timely for me. I am not i...This was so on-point and timely for me. I am not interested in the not-shomer-negiah guy, no matter how nice and sweet and smart he is, because I am shomeres negiah. I'm not interested in the guy who's doing...nothing...but "finding himself". (Really.) Not interested, either, in the creepy guy I met at a Shabbos table, who kept giving me weird looks and an ax-murderer smile. I couldn't believe the shadchan had even suggested I go out with anyone with such obviously different values (or totally not in a place to get married and support a family, or who was downright creepy).<br /><br />On a tangent, do you have an opinion about dating friends' brothers? As a somewhat awkward person, the thought of more awkwardness, between the friend and me, if the shidduch doesn't work out, isn't very appealing.Sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017927177231080668.post-77376062652062780262016-07-06T11:21:03.087-04:002016-07-06T11:21:03.087-04:00I imagine that even with the different hashkafa st...I imagine that even with the different hashkafa stories, there is a solid basis of similarity on some level. I can't imagine two people with different hashkafas AND different values AND different interests AND different personalities would get past the second date. OTOH, if a couple have shared values then I can see how they could compromise on hashkafas.Daniel Saundershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07087956908558706584noreply@blogger.com