My grandfather was one of eleven (six survived the war). In the old country, the eldest daughter (my great-aunt) would spend her day in the front room, sewing her trousseau and looking attractively marriageable, while the younger daughter had the less-glamorous role taking care of the rest of the children in the back kitchen.
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| Lladro Sewing A Trousseau |
We are raised with a constant awareness of ayin hara; buying something in preparation for the unresolved future is frowned upon as it may ensure the implosion of hopes and dreams. Purchasing items for married life while one is not even dating seriously can be seen as a major attraction for the evil eye.
Yet, consider—in the old world, there was no Bed Bath & Beyond. There were no registries. No Bloomingdale's One Day Sales. If one was betrothed and didn't have a prepared trousseau, she would have nothing for her home until she stitched it herself (after the war Bobbie took advantage of paying someone to do her sheets).
If all those people back then married, it can't be that now, suddenly, the evil eye has come out to catalog our purchases and undo that which is bashert.
If all those people back then married, it can't be that now, suddenly, the evil eye has come out to catalog our purchases and undo that which is bashert.
So, therefore, I have decided that if I see a fabulous pot for little money, or if my favorite china pattern is about to be discontinued, or set of gorgeous linen by a sample sale, I will buy them.
I have the money, I have the storage, and I have the faith.
Anyone need a pepper mill? I have spares . . .
You can always sell stuff on eBay if your taste changes or you find something even better in the meantime. It's a win-win. Shop now - shop later.
ReplyDeleteOh, my taste doesn't change. I love my clothing forever, which makes moving on a problem. "Oh, noble skirt! Thou has stayed by my side for many a year; how can I abandon thee to a thrift store?"
ReplyDeleteI did the same thing when before I got married. BEST THING EVER.
ReplyDeleteNo pressure to buy because time is running out - no paying full price, always another day or sale.
Everyone should do it
Happy Shopping
Ah i wish I was more like that, I waste so much and then i regret it...
ReplyDeletePrincess Lea, it's been a while, but im think im gonna be back steadily :P
(ps: how do you set up the option of having follow up emails after you comment on a post?)
I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who does this! I've been saving my grandmother's hand-embroidered tablecloth for years...
ReplyDeleteSI: Exactly! Why pay full price because time is limited? My married sister ran off with some of my pots, though. I have to hide them better.
ReplyDeleteYN: Hey, great to see you again!
For me, if I am logged in, then it shows the box right beneath my name. It doesn't appear by you?
Sparrow: That's an heirloom! Guard it well.
Good for you princess lea!!
ReplyDeleteI also believe in purchasing "marriage-usable" things before marriage.
I don't see it as ayin hara. On the contary, I see it as a segulah because you're showing Emunah in HaShem -- because you know HaShem is going to send you your zivug soon.
For example, let's say someone had a malach come and tell her that she will get married in 6 months from now.
Would she start prepartions?
Of course!
In the frum world, engagements and wedding planning time are usually around 6 months. Anything can happen in the blink of an eye, and I'd say it's best to start as soon as one believes HaShem will send her Mr. Right!
(btw I was one of the crazies who started buying outfits, tichels, etc. and would say HaShem - this is because I think I'm getting married soon)
But hey, it worked :D
I've also heard purchasing beforehand to be a segulah for proof of emunah - works for me.
ReplyDeleteConsidering how many hats I have squirreled away . . .
love this piece!
ReplyDeletemay it be soon, amen!
I hope it is! I'm running out of storage place and my mother is threatening to give away my shoes.
ReplyDeleteHere's to hoping!
ReplyDeleteSo funny that you wrote about this! This exact idea, of buying things to buy stuff for when I'd be married crossed my mind a few days ago (around the time that you wrote this now that I think about it), but I came across an obstacle that I saw no way around. What if my wife doesn't like it? So for girls it works wonderfully, but for guys... not so much. Unless it's, um, nope, nothing comes to mind. :)
ReplyDeleteThat's right, you have no say when it comes to decor. Good man.
ReplyDelete