Bottle Blonde

I am embarrassed to confess, despite my love of dark complexions and coloring, a fetish for the blonde, which I blame on my mother. My entire childhood Ma told me I was blonde, so, of course, I believed her. 

I was in high school when a classmate cruelly disabused me of that belief. 

I peered at my hair in the mirror. I had to acknowledge that I was, in fact, light brown of hair. When I confronted Ma, she said that she actually meant that I was the blondest of her children. It must be a Hungarian thing.

I wanted to add those sun-kissed highlights gained during those summer days, except I don't go outdoors during that season out of fear of sun damage and intolerance of heat. 

I first purchased highlighting shampoos and conditioners. I used them steadily, and after three years, if I squinted, I could detect a hint of yellow in one lock of hair. 

I had enough. I was going more drastic. 

I bought Sun-In Hair Lightener Spray, Lemon. Many hair lighteners work with the heat of blow-dryers and other stylers to lighten the hair. Every Friday I shpritzed before styling and I began to see results almost immediately. 

If hair is dark brown, lighteners will turn hair reddish. Initially, my hair did have reddish streaks, but it was pretty. Then the highlights became blonder with time and use. 

But the Sun-In had a horrible smell that gave me headaches, and I looked around for another option, which I found in Herbatint Hair Lightener. I transferred the liquid to a squeeze bottle, and it does the job without noxious fumes. 

I don't use it every week; every third Friday I give a little shpritz after applying leave-in conditioner and serum, before styling.

There are also other options like John Frieda's Go Blonder line. Shampoo, conditioner, and spray-in lightener, all conveniently available at the local drugstore. Except I read some alarming reviews of the spray-in online  from those claiming it made their hair fall out.

I also purchased La Bella Lightning Gel, which can provide more control if one wants a streaked look. 

I want to try Renpure Tropicals Australian Sun Lite Highlighter next.

The results with Herbatint were very natural. Even my hair guy couldn't tell the difference. A woman came in when I was in the chair, and she said, "Oh, what a beautiful hair color! Is it dyed?" He replied, a trifle horrified, "No, it's natural!" I hurriedly confessed. 

The great thing about it is that it doesn't look like a blonde dye job. A local girl was a distinct brunette, then her hair magically turned buttercup yellow overnight. I don't dig that. 

My niece, however, is not pleased. "Your hair is orange," she sniffs in disdain. "How is it orange?" Ma snaps. 

Ma is very happy with my faux blonde-ish hair. Now she doesn't even have to lie that much.