Girls: Girly, and Otherwise

In college, my schedule was of paramount importance; I would take classes I wasn't ecstatic about to ensure the beauty of a perfectly synchronized day. 

Required to take a psychology class, the only one that fit was—gulp—Women's Psychology. Ugh. 

My professor ended up being a young gal, rather than a zealous relic of the Women's Movement, who, thankfully, did not harp on female degradation at the hands of male overlords.  

The term "gender" is regarding the "masculine and feminine attributes assigned to males and females" (courtesy of Wikipedia), as opposed to their scientific status of male and female; in one class, she mentioned how placing young boys and girls together in schools reinforces gender stereotypes. 

I raised my hand, and as soon as I said, "I went to all-girls schools" approximately thirty heads snapped about to gawp at me. Turning fuchsia, I described how my high-school classmates were rather unaware of gender-specific behavior. Some played basketball every recess, or climbed trees, while some remained more typically feminine. But that was their choice, rather than bowing to expectations; if anything, the tomboys were the popular ones. 

Girls in general are often discouraged from pursuing higher education in sciences and math, whereas my BY classmates went into speech therapy or nursing; I was then able to inform my rather impressed professor that most of these girls (from a supposedly male-dominated society) had no barriers in their path.

A few years back the NY Times magazine had an article exploring the merits of educating boys and girls separately. Boys and girls learn differently, and by separating them they could be taught better. 

In the way their attention is gained, how they interact, how they respond to stress, boys and girls differ. One woman's son did a complete turn-around after being enrolled in a boys' school.  

For us frummies who were segregated at school, don't we notice the differences in teachers' tactics with boys' rebbes as compared to girls' morahs? Additionally, in an all-girl high school, topics can be discussed with less inhibition, without male snickers. 

These schools are trying to raise the standard for the inner-city children who have cultural standards in male-female relationships. In co-ed schools, one teacher describes, the concept of a civilized date without "expectations" from the girl is laughable. By separating the sexes it becomes a "date" rather than a "hookup." 

Ha! Separation of the sexes actually results in chivalry! Why do you think our guys don't proposition girls on our dates? Nothing like a little fear of the unknown to bring out respect.   

Those who objected to this article on gender segregation in education had predictably PC responses: It does not advocate tolerance, it is sexist, there are no differences between boys and girls. 

A letter to the editor was sent in regarding the article, and the author described her observations of a Lubavitch girls' school: 

I was fascinated by Elizabeth Weil’s article because I have studied an all-girls’ school in some depth. During graduate school, I lived among the Lubavitcher Hasidim, in Crown Heights, Brooklyn; I’ve recorded my findings in a book. I spent many days observing, in the girls’ high school and post-high-school seminary. Despite my reservations about same-sex schools, I was deeply impressed. In this ultra-Orthodox community known for its stark gender roles, the girls’ ability to adopt stereotypically male personas struck me. Many girls became noisy instigators, impish troublemakers, charismatic schoolwide leaders — niches that disproportionately may fall to boys in coed schools. The boys were not around to usurp these roles, so the girls snatched them up.

I don’t believe that single-sex schools are best for all students. Coed schools have their own benefits. But I am delighted that an option once reserved for private and parochial schools is open to growing numbers of public-school students.

STEPHANIE WELLEN LEVINE

Cambridge, Mass.

This woman was surprised to find, amongst observant Jews, who are, according to the world at large, sexist, freedom of gender roles. Due to separation in education, girls' personalities are allowed to develop without concern of societal expectations. 

There are some children, like my nieces, who entered the world riveted by the color pink, their brothers drawn to anything with wheels. Sometimes, it just is that boys will be boys and girls will be girls. 

But when my nephew chose to push a dolly stroller about the house while singing "Macho Man" at the age of two, not even his "macho" father freaked out. Gender stereotyping in the toy industry is in healthy force, but it ends up that we observant Jews, who are accused of belittling our women (it does get pretty old after a while), actually raise our children with less gender stereotyping just by putting boys and girls into segregated schools. 

To conclude: Ha ha.