She had set me up once with a pretty okay guy, but all her suggestions since then were to be avoided.
She appears next to me on the dance floor, both of us dodging the frantic shtick, shrieking over the booming music.
"He's tall! You can wear heels with him!"
"I don't own heels!"
"Buy some! And he's gorgeous!"
"I don't care about gorgeous! I care about personality!"
"He's got that too! I told your mother about him! I'll work on her!"
She bounced away.
She bounced away.
Aaaaaah. Ma wasn't biting since something was seriously off, so she was actually "working" on me; my suspicions proved to be valid. However, perhaps realizing that her idea wasn't going to float, she called Ma with her own realization why it is not meant to be.
"Their stars don't align."
"Huh?"
"Their stars. I did their astrological charts and it is obvious they are not meant for each other."
I understand that us Jews did have a time when we dabbled in such things, and the universe is big and all that and who knows what is considered superstitious claptrap and what not, but I have to say having my bechira and bashert bespoken by the heavenly spheres does not appeal to me. If I have worked on myself hard enough, I should be outside mazal.
In any case, her "pushing it" suggestion has been relaunched into the greater world. Godspeed.
I thought we believed that a Jew's fate is NOT bound by the stars!
ReplyDeleteTell them that your shakras are seriously conflicting. You don't want to do anything to affect your shakra.
ReplyDeleteI know this is seriously off-topic, but you don't wear heels? A fashionista like YOU?! I'm in shock.
ReplyDeleteFG: Tsk tsk tsk, read the end point. According to one opinion (or is it more than one) we are born under mazalos, and if we work on ourselves and recognize hashgocha pratis, then we are star-free.
ReplyDeleteMGI: I was actually thinking of Ayurveda. But I can't figure out if I am a vata, pitta, or kapha.
SIR: I'm tall. Really tall. I like to prove that one can be a frumanista in flats. :)
Good for you. I'm not tall and I'm not a fan of heels :-).
ReplyDeleteI'm simply too lazy to concentrate when wearing shoes.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I believe that guarding my health and wearing shoes that don't torture my body is a mitzvah!
ReplyDeleteOh, my flats aren't necessarily comfortable. Just I look ridiculous with the added inches.
ReplyDelete