Daring Greatly

   

I was first formally introduced to Brené Brown's work when happening upon her being featured on Oprah's Lifeclass a few weeks ago. I found her insights to be so breathtaking that I sat immobilized for the whole hour, clutching a pillow, jaw slack. There may have been drool.

Sadly, I can't find the entirety of the Lifeclass episode available online for viewing; above is only one of many "WOW" snippets.  I managed to tape it off of Demand for my personal use, though.

I am one who also associated vulnerability with weakness. When in my young gullible state I tried to be vulnerable with others, sharing embarrassing aspects of myself in order to gain friendships, only to be laughed at one too many times. I'm a quick study; I clammed up, and dared not reveal myself. 

But Brown clarifies that vulnerability is the most precious thing one can share with another, and it does not get revealed willy-nilly. Another must earn the right to see it.

My mistake was not being vulnerable; my mistake was not being discerning. 

Any deep, meaningful relationship will mean vulnerability. Tim Kreider's article, "I Know What You Think of Me," clearly illustrates the very same idea.

Brown discusses shame and vulnerability, two connected concepts that aren't limited to relationships; it also has to do with knowing oneself. One has to be vulnerable, and unafraid of shame, to be able to look oneself in the eye and see oneself. To see qualities and faults, and then to take action to improve oneself.

Another Teddy Roosevelt quote: "Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty." Any meaningful emotional connection can be fraught with terror and anguish as well. But it is worth having.