"Sorry, what was your name again?" I asked, with a sinking feeling of dread. It was one of those situations where I—stupidly—took the shadchan's word for it, sans profile. She had told me of his Hebrew name; however, when he called, he had identified himself by his secular nickname.
"Stormtrooper!" he repeated cheerfully.
Oh, shoot. I had initially looked forward to this date, but I now expected the worst. An internal Pollyanna voice continued to chirp sweet nothings, but my high hopes had nose-dived.
You see, this isn't the first Stormtrooper I've gone out with.
There was the original Stormtrooper, who had initially wooed me tender then opted for emotional abuse, at which point I gave the sociopath ye old heave-ho.
Then there was Stormtrooper II, who casually tossed me out of the bar he had selected after 45 minutes of conversation, claiming an appointment.
And here was Stormtrooper III. Ergo the Imperial March.
Well, he wasn't of epic-villain proportions . . . but I would rather have not spent an evening listening to how awesome his friend's wife is.
Not any Tom, Harry, or Dick then . . .
You didn't lose your heart to a starship trooper then? (he says, realising this pop cultural reference may be utterly unintelligible State-side, or indeed in the twenty-first century. This might help.)
ReplyDeleteSeriously, "how awesome his friend's wife is" would set off an alarm the size of the Death Star for most people, I hope. Some people really don't know how to behave...
I love Sarah Brightman, though! Can I get points for that? (I'm really a wannabe sci-fi freak. I only keep track of very few franchises.)
ReplyDeleteRed alert! Red alert! (Star Trek reference which clashes with your Star Wars, but what the heck.)
Don’t worry, I get nervous calling myself an SF fan too! I’m really a fan of a few (mostly old) TV programmes and a few authors I read intensively. While at times I try to widen my horizons and read a book or two from many of the ‘famous’ SF authors, I still worry the SF Fan Police will kick the door down any minute and arrest me for impersonating a genuine SF fan. Feel free to join me hiding from them in the cellar…
ReplyDeleteI just started the "Dune" series. I find it very confusing, if absorbing. But don't tell anyone that. Fandom will banish me.
ReplyDeleteI've never read Dune although it's on my (enormous) Amazon wishlist. But I keep finding cheap or free books that intervene before I get to the wishlist, not least because I'm allowed to take books from the 'For sale' pile at the library where I volunteer to compensate for working for free. Being paid in books suits me fine. Today's free book is about psychology and Sefer Iyov; coincidentally, I happen to be writing a drasha on Iyov, although I don't think this will help much.
ReplyDeleteMmm, library book sales.
ReplyDelete