It would seem, based on the research, that frummie prevalence of dating strictly for marriage scores us points.
As Tara Parker-Pope reports in "The Decisive Marriage," relationships that came into being through decision-making, as opposed to "just happened" couples, are better off.
Nearly every sitcom I watch now has some sort of the awkward "Is this a date?" premise. Those situations mimic reality, as the article mentions that specific unsureness. Thank goodness, we shidduch-system gals always know that it's a date. (Our opinion on the guy that shows up at the door is another matter.)
Additionally, those who had cluttered romantic pasts did not score as high in marital quality. It had always been believed that the more experience one has (in everything), the better off one is; not so when it comes to romantic relationships. The experience gained leads to comparisons. Conclusion: Ignorance is bliss.
Another thing in frummie favor: Big weddings tend to equal happy marriages. The reason for that is still unknown; one theory is that big weddings involve a lot of planning, and the couple that plans together, stays together.
Since our wedding sizes usually make gentiles gasp (most halls around here have insane minimums), the bigger, the better?
Theres no planning together. Guys don't plan weddings.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes feel like I'm the only Jew who doesn't like big weddings. Being shy, self-conscious, highly introverted and hating big, noisy crowds of strangers make them really difficult for me.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever manage to get married, I would like a small intimate wedding just for close family and friends. I somehow doubt I'll get my wish, though.
FG: We'll pretend for the sake of argument that they get some say.
ReplyDeleteDS: Unless you marry a girl who is also "shy, self-conscious, highly introverted and hating big, noisy crowds of strangers." There is hope.
If guys planned weddings there would be a long table covered in wings and fries, a large keg at one end and a ghetto blaster at the other.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds awesome: A Viking wedding. As long as the keg is filled with seltzer, I'm all for it.
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