Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Resilience

Before I begin: All hail October 21, 2015! Warning: Two curse words. 
 
"She's such a sweetie," she said, gazing fondly at her quietly playing daughter. "But she's getting picked on. I don't want her to lose that softness because she's being bullied." 

"She won't," I reassured her. "Her softness is part of her nature, and even bullying can't change that. I was bullied, and I'm still the same softie." 

"You?" she laughed. "You're a softie?" 

"Yes," I said firmly. "I'm a softie. But bullying made me resilient. It made me tougher. I stand up more for my opinions and my dignity. But I'm still a softie." 

I did try, when I was younger, to say and do whatever everyone else was saying and doing in order to "fit in." But that didn't gain me any more acceptance. I decided, that if I wouldn't be welcomed either way, that I might as well say and do that what was truly me. 

High school is long gone; I can now choose the type of people I wish to be around. But in recent years, my spine has been reinforced further. Thank you, dating. A lot of bullying there. 

"Why won't you go out with him again?" she demands. 

"Why won't you go to that singles event?" she imposes. 

"What do you mean, 'Judging from his information it's not shayach'?" she exhorts. 

HULK ANGRY! 
https://latimesherocomplex.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/hulk-and-she-hulk.jpg?w=600
But I'm also trying to work on my anger. I take a few breaths, logging out of e-mail and putting down the phone. I attempt to gather my thoughts. I then, calmly yet firmly, politely yet implacably, repeat: Thank you, but no.

Resilience shall, for now, rule the day (I'm reading Eric Greitens book next).  
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5 comments:

  1. Daniel SaundersOctober 21, 2015 at 1:47 PM

    Nice video. If you like SF, you can have a lot of fun laughing at the way the future isn't what it used to be. Doctor Who has been around long enough (52 years) that you can watch how people's expectations of the future changed over time. Although there is a serious point about the unpredictability of events - no one in the eighties predicted the way the internet would change everything.

    But why is Marty so surprised by Islamist terrorism? The entire plot of the first film depends on them being ambushed by Libyan terrorists! (I suppose you could say that was Arab nationalist terrorism, but even so...)

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  2. Princess LeaOctober 23, 2015 at 11:06 AM

    You're right. Doc gets shot by terrorists after using their . . . plutonium? Right?

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  3. Daniel SaundersOctober 25, 2015 at 7:21 AM

    Yep!

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  4. KidlitjunkieNovember 11, 2015 at 12:42 PM

    I'm glad that worked for you. But I was bullied as a kid, and it bullied the softness right out of me. I'm hard, sharp-edged--and I'm okay with that, it's part of who I am, and I have no idea who I'd be if I was different. But I know I used to have a softness, and I lost it a long time ago, in large part due to bullying.

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  5. Princess LeaNovember 12, 2015 at 10:29 AM

    I dunno, squinting between the lines of your comment I think I'm sensing softness. There's such a thing as a hard candy shell with a gooey soft center.

    Do you feel for others? Do you feel their pain? Can you put yourself in someone else's shoes?

    Softie.

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