"So what are you looking for?"
"________, ________, and ________."
"Well, that's ridiculous. Those factors don't matter at all in a marriage. Take me and my husband—"
Why do they ask the question if they are not interested in the answer? Why didn't you start the conversation by telling me what I want? It would have saved so much time.
Couples connect for the quirkiest of reasons. I often can't comprehend the attraction, but hey, I'm not one to quibble with what succeeded with others. That's cool. That's how they married. That's for them.
But hello? Over here. Hey. How ya doin'. Nice weather, no? Here's the thing:
I'm. Not. YOU.
I'm. Not. YOU.
Your priorities in a life partner are, no offense, not mine. That does not make me ridiculous.
If the next half hour will contain remonstrances of my unreasonableness along with name suggestions of guys who don't remotely fit my rather vague criteria, I really could be doing something else right now that involves pajamas.
Unfortunately many people giving advice are just interested in speaking their mind, not in really engaging with the other person's problems.
ReplyDeleteMany people involved in making shidduchim are not qualified and do not know what they are doing.
ReplyDeleteOne imbecilic shadchan made a shidduch based only on the fact that both the man and the woman were Sephardim.
Nobody with half-a-brain would match a man and a woman only because both of them are Ashkenazim.
But if both of them are Sephardim, then it is automatically considered to be a PERFECT SHIDDUCH!
Why the illogical double standard?
Those two Sephardim are still married 20 years later, but in my opinion, they are a total mis-match, and I knew the man for 36 years, so I know what I'm talking about when I say they are total mis-match.
Uggh. I totally hear you. I hate it when people think they know why I'm not married. Also, if you trust my judgement with regard to so many other things then why can't you just trust me on this too??
ReplyDeleteWord
ReplyDeleteDS: True. The mouth is opening and words are coming out, but that doesn't mean there are any actual thoughts involved.
ReplyDeleteSPDR: And when do I get to have an opinion about their life? Are they asking me?
d: Fist bump.