"Your mother was a mailitz yosheir for you!"
That line makes me cringe.
(a) My mother was still very much alive when I was dating Han. Doesn't the phrase apply after the supposed "intervener" has passed?
(b) If my mother had to die in order for me to marry, I would rather have preferred, no matter how happy I am now, that she didn't die. It's not very comforting to think one's marriage required dead bodies in one's wake.
(c) Ma spent her whole life worrying about her family. I'm hoping she can rest in peace, wherever she is, and breathe easy for once.
Give it a think, please.
I’m so sorry to hear that people have said something so hurtful and stupid to you. Do they really not consider that, at the very least, no normal child would be happy that a parent passed, even if it resulted in benefit? I know someone who’s struggling financially and has fairly well-off grandparents from whom they’ll probably inherit a lot, but they’re very close and tear up when describing the grandmother’s poor health. I can’t imagine how hurtful it would be to be told that they can look forward to being financially stable. (I know your situation doesn’t parallel this, but it’s the same sort of principle.)
ReplyDeleteWhen people say stupid things like that, I find it's more about making them feel good about themselves than anything else, that they are saying what they truly believe are words of chizuk. It doesn't make them malicious or anything. Just dumb!
ReplyDeleteSarah: Very much the same principle. Oy.
ReplyDeleteAnon: I know they aren't being malicious. But pain can still result from stupidity. Double Oy.