In today's secular culture, it would be considered odd to say that working and socializing with the opposite sex is uncomfortable. But survey says: Yes, people are uncomfortable.
"When Job Puts Sexes Together, Workers Cringe" by Claire Cain Muller (that was the print title) describes how there are enough individuals who are very much aware that it is not a simple thing to be alone with someone who is not a significant other or family member, whether in an office or a bar.
Today's world likes to operate on the "ideal" mode—in an "ideal" world, I can do such-and-such and there won't be any negative consequences. But the world is not ideal.
After the rape of Tamar by Amnon, the rules of yichud were enacted. That incident occurred, what, 3,000 years ago? Do any of us think that human nature has changed all that much? Not really. The women quoted in the article are leery of sexual harassment. Just having the awareness that a door should remain ajar is enough to cast a different tone on a man-and-woman meeting.
I haven't been to any mixed-seating weddings since my marriage; prior, there were times when I was placed at a mixed-singles table. It was always disastrous. Making conversation was sometimes confused with romantic interest, leaving me wishing I could bolt from the festivities before the main course.
I don't know if it is my quasi-Boro Park upbringing, or my own personal squeamishness, but it makes me nervous when there is too much . . . friendliness between unconnected men and women. Sometimes it can look rather similar to flirting. Lines can get crossed faster than one realizes.
The problem I have with sex-segregated events is that men usually want to talk about sport, and I have zero interest in sport!
ReplyDeleteI think propriety and good sense - it used to be called derech eretz when I was growing up - should govern all interactions, whether single-gender or mixed. I do think that modern society has a way of erasing boundaries of appropriateness, but I can hardly recommend increased segregation as a response.
ReplyDeleteDS: Yes, my husband can understand that difficulty. He's not into sports either. :P
ReplyDeleteGavi: I did not advocate increased segregation, nor was this article. Awareness, however, in another matter. As for propriety and good sense, they exist in an ideal world, but the world is not ideal, and I was on the receiving end too many times of crossed boundaries.