Monday, July 1, 2019

Crybaby

I am not usually a crier. I'm keenly experience emotions, so I should be crier, except my mother had that European shame of overt displays of feeling (she would have been a crier too, if not for that programming). Even when she died, I did not weep excessively. 

Then, when I became pregnant with Ben, oh boy. I was bawling constantly. It took me until Ma's first yartzheit, when I was with child, to cry. I cried when there was the slightest hint of tension. I cried in the shower, just for the heck of it.

Then, when he was born—hooooooeeeeee. I cried some more. I was happy, ecstatic, but still very, very weepy. My sister reassured Han that this was normal. 

It's the hormones, yes. But I wasn't irrational. I wasn't hysterical. I just needed a box of tissues. 

Randi Hutter Epstein in "Stop Calling Women Hormonal" explains the purpose of hormones, and that blaming them is not really fair to women or to the hormones. 

I recall an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" when Ray is about to enter the house but sees through the window Debra crying on the couch. He believes she's miserable, but she calmly explains that sometimes she just needs a good cry. 
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Then there was another episode when he believes she has PMS, and she attacks him "like a monkey tearing into a cupcake" for blaming the hormones. When Marie walks in on their argument, she actually slaps her beloved son in defense of her not-so-beloved daughter-in-law.  

So, yeah, just because I'm crying doesn't mean I don't have a point.

7 comments:

  1. /* Goodbye, cruel world! */

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  2. Nothing wrong with crying! It's sad that Western society only legitimates certain emotions.

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  4. This post makes me think of Anne (of Green Gables) Shirley's explanation of why she wanted a circlet of pearls as an engagement ring, even though pearls were supposed to symbolize tears. I won't quote it, but if you've never read it, it's really very poignant and romantic.

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  5. I haven't read it, much to my chagrin. That's one for the reading list! It does sound beautiful.

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  6. Just so you know it's not in the first book of the series, it's in Anne's House of Dreams (my favorite). I reread it every few years.

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