A number of months ago, there was an article in the NY Times that niggled at me. And niggled at me. And niggled at me.
I have found the only way to deal with the niggles is to write about it.
The article, by Pagan Kennedy, was called "Why You Want to Eat This Baby Up: It’s Science." She begins by describing how since childhood, she never wanted to have children, to the horror of everyone.
She just doesn't find babies cute, she claims. According to her, that's the only reason a woman would want to have a child.
Like, for reals?
The only reason why people have children is because they're cute?
What I never quite understood about those who profess no desire to besmirch their comfortable existences with demanding little humans is this: we were ALL children once. Our parents besmirched their comfortable existences to create and raise you.
Additionally, how long are we cute? Not very long, in the grand scheme of things. Many babies enter the world colicky and crabby. Babies leak from every orifice. As Han's friend joked, "Babies begin smiling when we're about to chuck 'em out a window." Cuteness is for survival.
But why do we have kids? As Jews, we know why. Heritage, mesorah, passing on the flame, etc. etc. The cuteness is just a perk.
It doesn't surprise me. The birth rate is falling in every Western country except one (Israel). It's difficult to avoid the impression that it's at least partly due to the 'me' generation.
ReplyDeleteThere's a story that the Brisker Rav saw someone who was very caring towards his children and asked him how he was able behave like this and the man said, "I look after my children because I want my children to look after me in my old age." Wrong answer. The Brisker Rav said that children are so that we can learn how to give unconditionally and imitate HaShem's unconditional chessed, not get something for ourselves.
I know that story, and I LOVE IT!!!!! It really reframes what our expectations should be as parents. The Brisker Rav was a very, very involved father> There are a number of stories that reflect his efforts.
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