Happy Anniversary

Well, it looks like I forgot my anniversary. 

Not my wedding anniversary. I think this early in the game that's not such an amazing milestone. 25 years is something, but under 5? Eh. 

I meant my blogiversary! It's a decade old! A decade! April 3, 2011 was the date of my first post. 

I remember how hesitant I was when I created the blog. No one I personally knew had a blog. I had been a frum blog stalker for a while, and realized that I, too, wanted to kvetch about dating. And recommend lipstick.

When I scroll through some of my early posts, I think about the ways I've changed. And the ways I haven't changed. 

Like, ten years is a long time. Things should change. I should learn new things. I should do better. 

But I still have a few bad habits. I'm still stuck in certain ways of thinking. There are some mistakes I still make, over and over. 

Right now, though, I'm so exhausted (good tired, not complaining, good tired) that I'm giving myself a parade if I remember to say a bracha acharona. Seriously. How am I supposed to work on the harder things? Like not accidentally hurting someone's feelings?

Maybe because I'm closer to 40 than 30, but I'm aware of my mortality. Ma certainly threw me for a loop. COVID deaths, definitely. Meron rattled us all. 

I hope I'm granted more time. More time to know better, and to do better. I simultaneously don't want to fall in the rut that "When [specific stage is over] then I'll start working on [specific trait]."

But who knows how much time I have? 

Man, this post went dark. See? Anniversaries don't work for me.