Shidduch Myth: All Girls Are Amaaaaazing

In a prior post, I addressed the concept of "good ones being taken," and I would like to expound further. 

This statement is usually uttered by women. Accomplished, capable, bedazzled women sparkling with carefully applied highlighter. Many women, you see, push themselves to be the best, while men . . . well, plenty aren't up to their full potential. 

I've even heard something along the lines of "all girls are good, while men—eh." 

As someone who barely survived high school, I can say that not all girls are "good," whatever "good" means. Does "good" mean presentable and career-oriented? Or does "good" mean getting voted "Never made another girl cry in the bathroom"? 

I've heard tales. One example: One of Han's dates ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, specifying "well done" (I don't even eat red meat, and I know that's a no-no). She barely ate half, and when the waiter asked if she wanted to take home the leftovers, she declined (Han wanted to take it home, considering it was his $85 going into the garbage). 

What about "good" meaning considerate? 

I've met a number of women who are really, on paper, fabulous. But in person, um, er, *cough.* 

I'm not saying that if a guy isn't yet all who he can be he shouldn't pull himself up by his bootstraps. I just tend to socialize more with women than men, so I cannot give many observations about them. 

Here's my take: We're all supposed to be striving to do better, no matter where we are in life. So even if one has the "good job" and "good wardrobe" boxes ticked off, that doesn't mean that he/she is good to go. 

I recall in my single days, when I would be mesmerized at the description of some snazzy lawyer, excitedly wait for a date, only to be sneered and snarled at by some obnoxious specimen. 

So if you've got the work/appearance thing down pat, maybe you could sit down with yourself to see how you could improve further, between yourself and humankind and God. 

One of the positive aspects of being single is that there usually is the time available to self-improve. Believe me, that time vanishes once offspring roll around. Sleep deprivation doesn't leave much time for deep thoughts (think too deeply, you pass out).

So while a shadchan may hawk someone as being amazing because they are professionally accomplished and gorgeous, those criteria do not necessarily mean they are a "good one." 

To be "good"—you gotta do good. Like not talk to your date as though she is an idiot, or max out his credit card.