Protect the Pout

Shielding skin from the sun is a requirement, but lips can sometimes be neglected. Lip skin is actually thinner than other skin, and is more susceptible to damage. 

My favorite SPF lip balm is Giovanni Street Chic Premium Lip Balm SPF 35 in Peppermint Treat. I apply it before lipstick, and it also works very well on bare lips. 

I became addicted, from my other lip balms, to the feeling of tingly-ness, and this one provides that very well. I keep one at home and one in my office desk, since I always feel that exposing SPF products to heat (say, if it was in my bag) would degrade the potency. I just make sure to reapply before going out.

Drugstores are bursting now with lip SPF options, by Blistex, Carmex, Chapstick, Neutrogena, Soft Lips, as well as store brands.

We'll Do Your Wanting For You

My aunt works in the psychology field. She mentioned once how there are no words in Yiddish for the issues she deals with; I suppose when the language came into being, between bouts of persecution and starvation, there was really no time to diagnose PTSD. 

I'm not trying to be flip about psychological conditions. But it is interesting how times of comfort and security unleash a host of problems that are all in, literally, the head. And now there are "professionals" to help with that.

In the late 1940s, there were 2,500 clinical psychologists licensed in the United States. By 2010, there were 77,000 — and an additional 50,000 marriage and family therapists. In the 1940s, there were no life coaches; in 2010, there were 30,000. The last time I Googled “dating coach,” 1,200,000 entries popped up. “Wedding planner” had over 25 million entries. The newest entry, Rent-a-Friend, has 190,000 entries. 

The article begins with a psychologist, marketed as a "wantologist," who helps people conclude what it is they want. A client came to her craving a bigger house; it turned out all she needed was a room filled with greenery. 

We are now the quintessential toddler: We don't know what we want. We could help ourselves, but believing every advertisement is more appealing. 

We've put a self-perpetuating cycle in motion. The more anxious, isolated and time-deprived we are, the more likely we are to turn to paid personal services. To finance these extra services, we work longer hours. This leaves less time to spend with family, friends and neighbors; we become less likely to call on them for help, and they on us. 

The more we use "them," the more we consider ourselves and those around us incompetent. "What do you know about kids? You may have had four, but this woman went to school for three months and has a laminated diploma on her wall certifying her to recommend sheer lunacy."

By farming out our responsibilities, the satisfaction that we should be getting from a job well done is being handed over to strangers. 

Focusing attention on the destination, we detach ourselves from the small — potentially meaningful — aspects of experience. Confining our sense of achievement to results, to the moment of purchase, so to speak, we unwittingly lose the pleasure of accomplishment, the joy of connecting to others and possibly, in the process, our faith in ourselves.

The ends don't justify the means; that is one of the basics of Judaism. It's also about how we get there; if we took the cheaters' way, or the hard and noble way. 

Individual responsibility can never be avoided. 

Man With a Past

At a simcha, a woman approached me. 

"You look so familiar," she began. 

It was vaguely possible she had seen me before, but then the conversation casually segued into what I'm "doing," my age, etc, in other words, real shidduch conversation. 

We chatted pleasantly despite the proximity to the band, and when we parted ways she still watched me appraisingly from across the room. 

She later resurfaced, trying to get me redt for her divorced son. But lest one think I am being unreasonable, here's this little tidbit:

A cousin by marriage, a few years ago, tried to set me up. He decided to deliver the news that the other party said no by yodeling "It looks like it's not going to happen" across a packed room (obviously, we are no longer on speaking terms).

The declining party was this woman and her son. Before his marriage. 

It would seem, dear fellow/madam, the ship as sailed. (Tooooooooot). 

Can You Hear Me? Can You See Me?

I know I harp about this a lot, but it can't hurt to mention it again. 

Sherry Turkle's article "The Flight from Conversation," addresses the current tech-life, and how that turns us into more self-absorbed beings. 

We have gotten used to the idea of being in a tribe of one, loyal to our own party.  

By using media as our middleman, we have lost the ability to interact face-to-face. 

A 16-year-old boy who relies on texting for almost everything says almost wistfully, “Someday, someday, but certainly not now, I’d like to learn how to have a conversation.”

Phones and computers give us the choice to interact exactly, perfectly, the amount we wish to. But that's not how real life works.

One day I was in a restaurant (not something I do often) and in walked two women, and I guess they were together since they sat at the same table. They flung themselves into chairs opposite each other and furiously peered at their phones. They didn't smile. Barely glancing up, they mentioned something to each other from time to time, then frowningly continued tapping. 

This video has already made itself known, but I can't get enough of it. 

I thought I could paraphrase bits and pieces of this article, but it truly must be read in its entirety. Please do. Then talk to someone, while making eye contact, about it.  

Tame Those Flyaways

I had a dinner one evening, and I carefully ironed my hair that morning. Maybe my angle was off, or something, because sticking out of the side of my head were stiff short pieces of hair that refused to be tucked into my pony. 

It also didn't help that it was pouring outside. I could sense the humidity clinging to the window, craving to frizz that which was now sleek. "Let us in," the condensation oozed against the glass.

Google! Help me! 

It soothingly sent me to a few helpful links that recommended the same thing: Take a fluffy toothbrush, spritz it with some hairspray, and run it over the flyaways. 

My toothbrush wasn't even so fluffy, and the results were amazing! My pony was sleek instead of fuzzy and piece-y, the image of runway ready! And it was so simple, without remotely any effort; just spray the bristles and run it over the problematic strands.  

This is a great way to tame unruly strands for other hairstyles as well.  

Shabbos Face: Lips, 3: Color

I didn't know what to use for Shabbos lipstick until I bumped into someone with magnificent lipcolor at a sheva brachos. "Mac Prolongwear," she firmly recommended. "I have to SCRUB it off on Motzei Shabbos."

So I trotted off to the Mac counter, and beheld a glittering array of colors. Glittering, literally. Prolongwear is a double-ended product, with color on one end and a moisturizing gloss on the other; if the color was glittery, then the gloss was devoid of sparkle, and vice versa.

The choice of shades weren't great, either. I like pinks for my lips, and the least glittery shades were were rather dull, with brown-undertones.

But it did stay on well over Shabbos, so I used those religiously for a few years.

One day my sister-in-law showed me her purchases at CVS. There was a "buy one get one at 50% off" sale by Revlon, and she had quite a few cheerful, non-glittery shades in her bag of Revlon ColorStay Overtime Lipcolor.

Of course I tried it out, and I was amazed how it seemed to last better than the Prolongwear.

But it is hard to figure out the colors. The names don't remotely reflect how the colors look in real life, so it takes some experimenting. (CVS has a return policy for cosmetics, which is helpful).  

• Keep Blushing: A light pink with a frost finish. Looks great on teenagers. 

• Infinite Raspberry: Pale pink with lavender undertones. If one is going for tame lipcolor, this is a good option.

• Perennial Plum: I wouldn't touch this for years since I thought plum = purple, but I finally bought it and love it. Primarily pink, it is more like a lip-enhancing shade. Looks flattering without going overboard.
  
• Non Stop Cherry: A dramatic pink-red. 

• Forever Scarlet: A bright orange-pink-red. Festive and summery.

• Stay Currant: A deep brick red. For golden or darker skintones, I would say, rather than white-fair. Appropriate for winter.

• Ultimate Wine: Nothing remotely wine-like about it. I'm not sure how to describe the color—but it is on the tamer side, with bronze undertones. It has sheen, so it is not my personally favorite shade, but it is a nice neutral.

• Always Sienna: Another "can't quite place the color" hues, but I would say it is like a darker version of Ultimate Wine.

Do to the nature of these longwearing products, I would not recommend them for a two day yontif. After 25 hours, the color flakes and cracks off unappealingly. I'll go through yontif lips later.

When applying, be sure to let the lipcolor dry thoroughly before applying the gloss. This makes a big difference in staying power. I put on the color early on while applying the Face, giving it plenty of time to dry. Last thing to do is brushing on the topcoat.

Because long-lasting lipcolors dry to a tight finish, the purpose of the moisturizing topcoats is to provide comfort of movement. The gloss, I have noticed, sinks in better and lasts longer (even overnight) rather than the balms, which some other longwears come with. 

I have tried other brands, like Maybelline and L'Oreal, but the rare matte shade would be blah, or the applicator was ridiculous, or it felt just nasty on my lips, or instead of a glossy topcoat it would have a balm instead, which not as nourishing. 

Via beautylish.com. Revlon Colorstay Overtime in Forever Scarlet

As I mentioned in my lipstains post, these colors can change dramatically depending on the lipstain hue. Therefore, there are really a host of possibilities. For instance, if I use a red stain under the Perennial Plum, it becomes more dramatic.

While these are long-wearing, they aren't tattoos. No biting into apples; maneuver forks and spoons that they should not touch the lips; straws while drinking is a good move. But even if you mess up they are very forgiving. 

To remove after Shabbos, one may need to bring out the lip scrub again. 

Have a glamorous Shabbos!

Cumulative Expense?

While flicking through channels on a day home sick, I came across a reality show called Extreme Couponing. It's pretty amazing; the people there put an insane amount of time in collecting and organizing coupons to the point they can leave a store with over $1,000 worth of groceries for $10. Spare bedrooms in the house are stockpiled with enough goods to survive for decades. 

The prep work for such an outing takes as much time as a full-time job; some pay a fortune a year in newspaper subscriptions; some have multiple computers and printers since coupons have limits as to how many can be printed per device; some scour the neighborhoods for unoccupied houses with abandoned papers on their driveways; others dumpster dive for discarded circulars. 

And the stuff they buy! Vats of cream cheese, bottles of soda, boxes of cake mix, bags of candy, cartons of frozen dinners—all processed food that has an indefinite shelf life. For the personal care products, like twenty tubes of toothpaste—is all that toothpaste to combat the rotting teeth from such a diet? 

No one seems to consider the expenses to get to the coupons itself. Gas to troll for recycling bins; newspaper subscriptions; numerous computers; hours and hours of time that could be earning money instead—and they shouldn't even be eating this junk. Never mind the shot nerves when they get to the register, praying that they calculated everything correctly.

Nothing that they buy for nothing seem to be real necessities. They kill themselves, spend a fortune, when they could eat less and healthier. The produce aisle tends not to have coupons, but that's where one should really do all their shopping.

These women turned their couponing fetish into a business. 

Yoder and Knight are part of a growing community of people for whom coupons are a significant part of making ends meet. After declining for nearly a decade, coupon use has increased almost 35 percent since 2008 . . . Last year, more than 3.5 billion coupons for consumer packaged goods were redeemed, an increase of 6.1 percent over 2010.   

With seven children to feed and her husband out of work, Cathy Yoder took her clipping savvy and supports her family with it, in more ways than one. The article cites her stockpiling of tuna, canned veggies, and milk, certainly nutritious items, mollifying my previous stockpiling horror.  

If you want to slash your grocery bills, you must overhaul your nonapproach to shopping. Forget mindlessly rolling down the aisles, dropping items in the cart for reasons of brand recognition or this or that gustatory whim. You must become strategic, unyielding and impervious to marketing appeals. You must buy only what’s on sale — the same goes for unprocessed items, like vegetables and meat — preferably timing your coupon use to the sales and planning meals around what’s in your freezer or pantry. This is called “shopping your stockpile.”

Yoder is able to slash a $1,000 monthly food bill down to $400, and she gives classes on how to go about it. She can't seem to get her husband to shop with coupons, though. Men, apparently, don't coupon. 

Baaaack, Baaaack You Bloodsuckers

Mosquito season in my neck of the woods is not pleasant. 

Avoiding DEET, I purchased a variety of "healthy" bug repellants, which usually are unpleasant yellow oil that can potentially stain clothing. And the success rate is not even the best; I even bought a sunblock with the aforementioned grease with claims of bug repelling, and came home with four bites on my legs.

One day last summer I tried a new sunblock—not as a repellant—and was surprised that day after day my legs were unmolested. 

The sunscreen is Alba Botanica Lavender Sunblock. The lavender, it seems, was keeping my skin whole. 

Along with the sunscreen, I purchased a lavender body spray, which I used liberally throughout the summer. I sailed through August with barely any bites, and the smell is pleasant and soothing. I used it on the kinfauna when I took them outside; no  more worries I was going to return scratching children to their parents. It's great because I can apply it on Shabbos, as opposed to greasy creams. 

I ran out in the beginning of September. I didn't bother to restock, since how long could the mosquitoes last? 

Almost into October. I was one, big, itching welt.

This year, I bought the BIG bottle of lavender. And will definitely reorder if it gets low.

For on-the-go refreshers, I purchased a travel-sized atomizer. In purple. ('Cause it's lavender, get it?)  

Lavender is a great bug repellant in general. Plant lavender around the property, and one can even use lavender incense for evenings outside. It has been concluded (I saw this on AOL, but misplaced the link) that the best moth repellant is lavender, not cedar, mint, or lemon. I got a bag of loose dried flowers to make my own sachets for my drawers and closets. 

Farewell, My Love

The makeup world can be a fickle friend. One day, you will see a mascara/foundation/lipstick across a crowded room, and fly to its side, and make it your own . . . only to have it discontinued following an all-too brief courtship. 

Like my beloved ketsy.

Poof. Gone. I was left alone.

The first few times this happened to me I made every effort to get my hands on some spares. Ma would tell me to calm down, but I wouldn't listen; then, with backups safely stored away, I would meet yet another wonderful product who could do all that my previous beauty fave could do, and more. 

I thankfully never went so far as to purchase nearly 40 of the same product as I finally heard Ma's point. (Besides, brown lip gloss? Feh.)

Usually if a makeup is getting the ax it is because the brand has invented something even better. True, sometimes the replacement is lacking, but then another company could be able to fulfill your needs. 

Yes, I was hurt when Tarte did away with their Vitamin Core Lipstick in Revive.

I purchased another one on a shady website. But then I noticed the kaleidoscope of color available in Sephora, realizing that frantic purchase wasn't necessary. (I mentioned beforehand my stocking up of a discontinued Sephora mineral makeup. That was more because it was ridiculously reduced. Chap arein.)  

It behooves us to evolve. Even if that means beyond a beloved mascara.    

Adequate Half

While young and unattached, she was discussing all of her future plans. 

"And then, when we arrive in Israel, we'll . . . "  

"Who are you going with?" I ask. 

"My better half!" (as yet unknown) 

"Your 'better half'?" I echo. "Nah, you don't want him to be better than you." 

A young wife bristled across the table. "Why shouldn't he be better than you?"  

"I should have an inferiority complex to my husband?" I respond. 

"You want to be equals," piped in a long-married woman.  

"Exactly." 

But my adversary wasn't giving up so fast. "Don't you want him to be better than you? Treat you right?"  

"It's in the books already he has to treat me better than himself," I retort. "I just have to treat him more than adequately. He doesn't have to be 'better' than me to follow that." (Rambam)

She unwillingly acquiesced, and the conversation reverted to shoes.