Hatred With a Basis is No Better

I was walking down the aisles in a relatively deserted store, when a frum woman answered her phone. 

 

"Look," she said briskly, "my two sisters-in-law aren't talking right now, so—" 

 

As soon as I heard that sentence, I bolted, even though I hadn't gotten what I needed yet. 

 

I personally can't handle hearing tales of fighting families. I'm a conflict avoider by nature; just dealing with customer service makes me break into a sweat.  

 

"Shalom" was Ma's mission. Even as kids, we weren't "allowed" to fight. None of that "let them work it out" stuff. Not. Allowed. Period. 

 

In shul this past week, the rabbi thundered about siblings fighting over their parents' yerusha, or neighbors not talking because of perceived slights.

 

"You are the ones holding back the geulah!" this usually smiling leader bellowed grimly. 

 

"Sinas chinam" is usually translated as "baseless hatred." But does it follow that hatred with a good reason is permitted? Yes, your logic can be ironclad for an argument. But that doesn't make it right. "It is better to have an imperfect peace than a perfect controversy."

 

Hashem did not create the world on Emes, remember? He threw it to the ground. When Emes is taken out of the equation, that leaves Shalom on top.

 

We all have our reasons to be angry at someone. 

 

So what?