The Theory of Relativity

"That's the thing about unhappiness. All it takes is for something worse to come along, and you realize it was happiness after all." —The Crown, "Dear Mrs. Kennedy"

Whilst single, I had attempted to keep the crabbiness at bay. I had my health. I had my income. I had my family. I had my shoes. But unhappiness would still encroach, the despair following each mis-redt suitor, every disappointing date. 

Then Ma got sick. That angst vanished as something worse came along, making me realize it was happiness after all. 

As I had mentioned, we did not advertise her condition; only when directly asked as to our current circumstances did we divulge the crappy state of things. Then I would be deluged with miserable tales of loved ones' torturous illnesses, and even Ma's situation was seen as a comparably preferable one. 

Sometimes I see these "inspiring" memes that if you woke up with two working eyes and two working hands and two working feet, then you should be overwhelmed with constant gratitude. However, that's not much help when one is in pain. I'd like to feel miserable without being made to feel guilty, thank you very much. 

Perhaps it's easier to think, "I'm where I'm supposed to be. I'm experiencing what I'm supposed to be experiencing." 

That is a form of gratitude too, I think. 

Here, Aliza Bulow poignantly describes the intertwining of bitachon and gratitude in the face of illness and death.