How to Stay Sane While Dating: XV

"You know, when you get to a certain age *sigh*, you just have to be willing to compromise." 

Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave. 

What these people who didn't know me from Adam (or Eve?) neglected to differentiate: There are levels of compromise.  

They assumed I had a detailed laundry list. Um, no. I had like maybe three criteria. And one major dealbreaker: He had to be nice. 

But "nice" was, disturbingly enough, subject to interpretation. A guy had been suggested to me for years, with this specific adjective: NICE. "He's sooooo nice!" countless advocates gushed. 

I eventually, reluctantly, agreed to a date. Pleasant discovery: He was not NICE. Not remotely. 

I heard of a girl who married "late," and divorced shortly thereafter. Someone quoted her: "I thought I could compromise on hashkafa. But I couldn't compromise on middos." 

Some people aren't into nice, so that's not an issue for them. Contrary to popular belief (eye roll) not every person prioritizes niceness in their lives. They aren't nice, they don't need nice. 

But for those that do? You do not have to compromise on your dealbreakers.  

Because Han has niceness oozing out of his pores to such an extent that those who just meet him dazedly ask, "How did you find such a nice guy?" (I didn't find him. Can't take any credit for that.) Eewok, an excellent judge of character, met Han prior to our engagement and asked, "Are you going to marry Han? Because he's sooooo nice." A nurse asked me at an appointment a standard question about domestic violence, and I burst into riotous laughter.

For those who are nice, and NEED nice, you DO NOT "compromise" on that. And "the good ones aren't all taken," either.