Multi-Faceted

The frum world is not immune to the current trend of polarization. If one dons a streimel, then he must be ______, ______, and ______. If one wears a kippah serugah, he must be ______, ______, and ______.

Because my father speaks a heimishe Yiddish, many often mistakenly think he's a lapsed chassid. Well, they better be prepared for a whole lot of dropped knowledge, son. (European Jewry was not neatly divided into two categories, "chassidish" and "litvish." Yiddish was the spoken language of all Jewry, and the havara is based on region, not sect. For instance, the Lubavitchers and Stalliners speak Yiddish with a different havara than the Polish chassidism. As for Hungary, there were no home-grown chassidish movements therein. The prevailing outlook was that of the Chasam Sofer, a flaming misnaged. But I digress.) 

People are rarely perceived as what we truly are, which is multi-faceted. For instance, there are women who like makeup and fashion while simultaneously digging sci-fi and superheroes (cough). 

I'm not the only one.

I was reminded of this while reading two articles in the Sunday Review a few weeks ago, "Go Ahead, Speak for Yourself" by Kwame Anthony Appiah, and "Jocks Rule, Nerds Drool" by Jennifer Wright.

Appiah shows how qualifying statements—"As a Jewish woman," "As a lawyer turned baker," "As a Wookie"—create false imagery in conversations. Take "As a Jewish woman"; I would perceive a fellow frum gal, while others may see a Democratic liberal who goes to temple only on the High Holy Days. Identity isn't as clear-cut as we would like to think. Nor can one of us claim to speak for everyone under the "Jewish woman" umbrella. 

On that same note, Wright upends the simplistic stereotype of jocks vs. nerds: Jocks have it great in high school; nerds don't. Jocks are doofuses who can only do blue collar work; nerds succeed. Jocks are jerks, but the girls like them anyway; nerds are nice, but girls don't know better. 

 

It does not follow that being great at sports = idiot, mean, and lady killer. Nor does it follow that scrawny, awkward brilliance = consideration. I've met enough sweet, smart guys who can throw a ball, and enough intelligent yet condescending chaps who thought they were better than everyone else. Unbrilliant nerds also exist.

Of course I am guilty of prejudgement based on supposed identity. But whenever I fell into that trap, I ended up looking stupid indeed. Just as my makeup makes me seem to those who are equally prejudiced.