Singlism

 Frum people sometimes think the grass is greener on the other side. "Oh, if I wasn't frum, such-and-such wouldn't be an issue." 

Singles certainly have those moments. "Oh, if I wasn't frum, it would be no problem to get a relationship." That (erroneous) belief stems from the current day restrictions to meet potential dates—bars, clubs, or even basic social interactions are off the table. 

But marriage is not just a numbers game, that if I just meet as many people as possible one them would be my spouse. While I didn't date with proficient regularity, Han certainly did (he lost count at some point, but I did some lame math and yeah, he met LOTS of women). 

Additionally, frum singles seem to think that secular/gentile singles don't get flack for being unmarried. But according to this article on TED, yeah, they do: "The Price of Being Single" by Jessica Gross. 

DePaulo has coined two words that are essential to this discussion. “Singlism is the stereotyping, stigmatizing and discrimination of people who are not married,” she says. “The flip side of that is matrimania: the over-the-top celebrating and hyping of marriage and coupling and weddings. So if you’re single, you get it coming and going.”

OOOOH, those terms sound fun! 

DePaulo and her colleagues created biographical sketches of people who were identical — except that half were single, while half were married. Participants judged the hypothetical singles to be less socially mature, less well adjusted, and more self-centered than their otherwise identical married counterparts. The effect was starker for hypothetical 40-year-olds — who, by cultural standards, are at a should-be-married age — but persisted for hypothetical 25-year-olds, too.

Yup.  

As the article relates, "singlism" is not considered to be a form of prejudice, even though singles can be discriminated against. Additionally, while there may be supposed studies that "married people are happier," that can't really be substantiated. People are happier when they first marry, but over time they end up where they were before. Plus there are divorces. Obviously those people, when they were married, were unhappy. 

A married couple are not "better" people than singles; marriage does not mean the couple is more mature or more selfless; they are not necessarily happier. 

And just because you are single doesn't mean others have the right to treat you badly.