Wedding Hair

When it comes to bridal hair, I am all for updos.

Not my favorite.

By frummie weddings, the bride usually hits the dance floor armed with sneakers and proceeds to boogie the night away, which often leads to sweat. Loose, styled waves become limp, clinging to the neck and face in damp, scraggly strands. 

Updos don't have to be harsh. 

Vs.

The top look on Taylor Swift is not as polished as the bottom, but it offers a romantic, evening vibe with less of an "updo" finish. 

Via ProjectWedding.com

If you do opt for down hair, I beg you: No bottle curls.  It's too reminiscent of Little Bo Peep.

When it comes to youngsters by weddings, however, I find that loose hair is more flattering. Updos on kids with glasses are particularly painful. Loose hair styled in waves, with a flower clip holding back one side softens the harshness of glasses (I am anti-headband). 

fancypantsweddings,com

At a recent chassana, the tween-aged cousins of the kallah had their beautiful thick blonde hair blown wavy, without distracting oversized headbands or clips. They bounced on the dance floor looking perfectly natural and appropriate, not stunty.

Children and teenagers look great in long hair. Adults . . . have to tread more carefully.

Accomodate My Gluten-Free

Once upon a time, if someone had a weird self-imposed diet, that was their own business. If invited out, they would simply abstain from the offending item, or move it around their plate as though they had at least tasted it. 

In my case, I cannot tolerate white bread, although I can handle very small quantities. If by someone's house on Shabbos, I'll just nibble the minimum, but I certainly make no requests for a whole wheat challah to be purchased on my behalf. 

And while this not dietetically imposed, I am not crazy about red meat, especially the way some hostesses seem to just shove it in the oven and cook it until all the juices leach out of it. Does that mean I should inform the baalas habayis to prepare a mushroom steak for me instead? Pshaw. 

When did it get to be a hostess's headache to plan for others' odd diets? My nephew has celiac disease, but others take on gluten-free despite lack of medical condition, as Jessica Bruder opines. 

The offending object? A footlong loaf of bread, stuffed with savory cheese, purchased at a beloved Italian bakery and presented with pride at a recent potluck meal. “This bread is delicious,” I crowed.

The kitchen went quiet. You’d think I had offered up a bouquet of poison ivy. One guest said she was gluten free. Another didn’t consume milk products. The mood lifted only when someone else arrived with a large bowl of quinoa and lentils. 

I never thought I'd see the day when quinoa and lentils would be a party saver.

enlightenedcooking.blogspot.com

I always thought it was understood that if by someone else's home, providing they don't serve something that will make your throat close up, politely tasting the course and nodding an emphatic "yummy!" makes one a good guest.  

It's not like suffragettes being force-fed or anything.

My nephew doesn't eat when he's home, anyway. So no worries; he'll have some salad.  

Priorities, Priorities

A guy and a girl were sitting behind me on the train, chatting about their dating lives. Naturally, I pretended to be asleep and eavesdropped. It was incredibly entertaining. 

He was talking about how he met this girl, she's great, yadda yadda yadda, but she has a medical problem, specifically debilitating migraines. 

She was talking about how she met this guy, he's great, yadda yadda yadda, but he has a medical problem, specifically epilepsy. 

I can understand how anyone would have to think carefully over pursuing relationships with others with chronic conditions that can flare at the most inconvenient of times (like while operating heavy machinery or holding an infant), but that did not seem to be their main concern. 

The reason why these potential mates may get the ax is because they could really ruin their vacations. 

You see, one works really hard to plan a vacation, and what if she has to take to her bed the whole time? Real bummer. And he can't go snorkeling, so that would be real drag.

Nothing like a little eavesdropping . . .

Devil's Workshop or Mother of Invention

I have more nervous tendencies than others, so I worked out early on how to keep myself . . . relatively mellow. 

For instance, I know that I need time every day for my brain to loosen up. Like blankly looking through a train window, or mindlessly watching some television, or reading a less-than-educational novel since, in order to be able to sleep at night, "the little gray cells" must be given an allotment of non-focus. 

Via edwardbgordon.blogspot.com

Perhaps that is why I am bewildered when I hear that people desperately need a vacation to "unwind" or "get away." If I had to rely on a few holiday days here and there to realign my chakras, so to speak, I would be a raging lunatic. 

My idea of an ideal Sunday is to potter about, indolently taking care of this or that, with nothing on the schedule. If I do have something planned, it's rarely for hours on end, nor do I want to tackle more than one "activity" in one day. 

Despite today's conveniences, which should have made life more relaxing, people claim they are busier than ever, even though they have no cows to milk or land to plow. And idlers like myself are often get the finger-wag for our non-exerting ways.

My cousin FBed me on Sunday, confessing her guilt for spending the day watching Star Trek. I linked her this article, which casts our indolence in a flattering light. 

Are we really so "busy," Tim Kreider asks, or do we just fear the absence of activity? 

So after reading the article, figure out if you are actually busy, or if you just can't stand the silence. 

Bottle Blonde

I am embarrassed to confess, despite my love of dark complexions and coloring, a fetish for the blonde, which I blame on my mother. My entire childhood Ma told me I was blonde, so, of course, I believed her. 

I was in high school when a classmate cruelly disabused me of that belief. 

I peered at my hair in the mirror. I had to acknowledge that I was, in fact, light brown of hair. When I confronted Ma, she said that she actually meant that I was the blondest of her children. It must be a Hungarian thing.

I wanted to add those sun-kissed highlights gained during those summer days, except I don't go outdoors during that season out of fear of sun damage and intolerance of heat. 

I first purchased highlighting shampoos and conditioners. I used them steadily, and after three years, if I squinted, I could detect a hint of yellow in one lock of hair. 

I had enough. I was going more drastic. 

I bought Sun-In Hair Lightener Spray, Lemon. Many hair lighteners work with the heat of blow-dryers and other stylers to lighten the hair. Every Friday I shpritzed before styling and I began to see results almost immediately. 

If hair is dark brown, lighteners will turn hair reddish. Initially, my hair did have reddish streaks, but it was pretty. Then the highlights became blonder with time and use. 

But the Sun-In had a horrible smell that gave me headaches, and I looked around for another option, which I found in Herbatint Hair Lightener. I transferred the liquid to a squeeze bottle, and it does the job without noxious fumes. 

I don't use it every week; every third Friday I give a little shpritz after applying leave-in conditioner and serum, before styling.

There are also other options like John Frieda's Go Blonder line. Shampoo, conditioner, and spray-in lightener, all conveniently available at the local drugstore. Except I read some alarming reviews of the spray-in online  from those claiming it made their hair fall out.

I also purchased La Bella Lightning Gel, which can provide more control if one wants a streaked look. 

I want to try Renpure Tropicals Australian Sun Lite Highlighter next.

The results with Herbatint were very natural. Even my hair guy couldn't tell the difference. A woman came in when I was in the chair, and she said, "Oh, what a beautiful hair color! Is it dyed?" He replied, a trifle horrified, "No, it's natural!" I hurriedly confessed. 

The great thing about it is that it doesn't look like a blonde dye job. A local girl was a distinct brunette, then her hair magically turned buttercup yellow overnight. I don't dig that. 

My niece, however, is not pleased. "Your hair is orange," she sniffs in disdain. "How is it orange?" Ma snaps. 

Ma is very happy with my faux blonde-ish hair. Now she doesn't even have to lie that much.

Happy Rosh Chodesh

Check out this video by Charlie Harary about recalibrating our viewpoint of Elul.

Illamasqua Lipstick in Corrupt

The yontif lipstick method of layering on various brands and colors results in this lovely pink shade, which kind of makes my other weekday lipsticks look a little bland. And quite by accident I have found a single product that looks not only close to that hue, but better. 

I adore Illamasqua since the majority of their products are vivid, matte pigments. Idly playing with the lipsticks in Sephora one day I swiped one on. 

Oooh. 

Via goldbeautymua-mevish.blogspot.com

The Sephora website describes "Corrupt" as hot pink, but it is not. Believe me, I have hot pink lipsticks; this is not hot pink. 

The Illamsqua website refers to it as a warm bright pink, which is definitely a better description. While light, it is dramatic yet remaining refined.

The consistency of Illamasqua lipstick can be temperamental, however. While they are matte, if left in too warm an area they begin to get testy. Don't leave it in a purse on a sunny summer day. 

Yontif Hair = Healthy Hair

Many find the showerless yom tov to be quite a trial. Consider what it would be like to not shampoo for more than a month? 

Amber Genuske couldn't help it; when in Kosovo, the bathing conditions were quite primitive and not hair-friendly. But when she arrived home and blissfully bathed, she was amazed how healthy her hair was. 

She now only washes her hair one or two times a week. Funnily enough, so do I. When my hair gets a little oily, I prefer cornstarch to dry shampoo (the fragrance gives me a headache and makes me sneeze); I just sprinkle a little in and it absorbs any greasiness.

Green Eyed Monster

I am often surprised how, for lack of a better term, well, communist the Jewish community has become. 

Two neighbors, middle-aged and not exactly financially deprived, stood together muttering at the behemoth that an obscenely wealthy man was constructing. 

"It's a chillul Hashem," hissed the woman. 

The man nodded. 

Beg pardon? Is he breaking any laws? Not paying his workers? Condoned faulty zoning? Do you know what "chillul Hashem" means? 

My nieces' school have enacted a whole bunch of rules for bas mitzvahs this year. When I was a kid it was just (1) if inviting half the class, then the whole class must be included and (2) everyone buys for themselves a one-time gift so parents don't have to go crazy/bankrupt by every party. Now the choice of venue has to be cross-examined, with all sorts of sub-clauses to adhere to. 

There are people in our community that, b"H, make very good livings. Or inherited livings. The point being, they have money. It is not a heinous crime if their lifestyle can be maintained by their income. We are not believers in the loafers of Wall Street whining "We are the 99%!" We are Jews (a much, much, much, smaller percentage than that), who believe no matter what we or others do, whatever Hashem decreed the past Rosh HaShana, we will receive. 

The law is "Thou shall not covet," not "Thou shall not spend." 

Rabbis enact unenforceable laws to bring down the price of wedding revelry, but you know what? If someone goes into hock for their child's wedding, he should know better. B"H in our world weddings are a constant thing, and we don't give them a second thought. We go home after the soup if the hour gets late, because we got to work in the morning. Who asked you to spend beyond your means?

People. Don't. Care. 

Really.  

While people are free to spend what income they have, that does not mean one should feel embarrassed if their own finances can't meet someone else's budget.

Luke constantly talks of the most fun wedding he had ever been to. The kallah's mother was not in any state to pay for a wedding, nor was the chosson's family. Two young professionals, they paid for their own festivities in a less-than-glamorous hall, devoid of lavish details. The focus was family and friends coming together to celebrate.

On the flip side, there was this other young couple, whose parents blew everything they had and then some on the wedding of the century. The newlyweds went to Israel afterwards, and lived like churchmice. Literally. Their only food was bread and butter.

Reuven Spolter wrote on this in the Jewish Action. His nephew's wedding was very simple, he says bluntly, because of finances. Did that make it any less merry? True joy has no pricetag. 

If someone makes a snazzy party, the message isn't, "New trend!" Do what one can afford to do, because in the end "Whatever you do, you do for yourself." The neighbors aren't noticing.

Mineral Bust

There are two species of mineral makeup: pressed and loose powders. I like the pressed powder versions, of which I mix two shades of the now-discontinued Sephora Collection Mineral Foundation Compact (with a five year supply hoarded away). 

But there are times in life when loose minerals are needed. My current loose mineral makeup is Dior Diorskin Nude Natural Glow Fresh Powder Makeup in 020 Light Beige. I was initially bowled over, but now I'm feeling a trifle discontented. There is a fragrance which irritates my nose; the color doesn't quite match. 

The hint of yellow in my undertone makes foundation shopping a pain; often I come out too pale (ghostlike), too orange (Oompa Loompa), or too yellow (bilious). 

Most mineral makeups steer in "The Neutral Zone" (Star Trek reference); not many variations in term of undertones. Bare Minerals, however, embraces extremes; the lighter shades have strictly straight yellow or pink undertones.

Worst come to worst, I am prepared to purchase two bareMinerals Matte Foundations and mix them. But first I want to explore all my options. 

1) Elizabeth Arden Mineral Makeup Foundation SPF 20. It is freshly shaved, like the Clinique Mineral Makeup, and I happily pounced on the tester in Macy's. Shade 2, which is the lightest, was very dark. Like, brown. I slunk away, dispirited.  

2) Bobbi Brown Skin Foundation Mineral Makeup SPF 15. The colors are all pretty neutral. The differences between "Extra Light" and "Light" is pretty major; one is way too light, the other way too dark. Considering how Bobbi Brown's makeup all has yellow undertones, I felt gypped.  

3) Lancome's Ageless Minerale Skin-Transforming Mineral Powder SPF 21 (I wonder about that "21." Sounds kind of arbitrary when it comes to skin protection, no?) 

The counter I approached claimed it was being discontinued, but an email to the company disproved that. Then again, whenever I email a company asking, "Is it being discontinued?" they send back a "Perish the thought!" and it is discontinued anyway. 

I could not find the Lancome in stores, only on websites. 

Since Nordstrom offers free shipping and free returns, I decided to go with them. As for color selection, I prowled online reviews until someone said the magic word, "yellow": Natural Ivory 30. 

I bought it and tried it. Too dark. Back it goes. 

So I've decided there's nothing for it: I'll just have to get two bareMinerals Matte Foundation, in Fair and Golden Fair, and mix the two.  

Or stop whining and buy the Dior again.