The "Talk"

"Have you ever gone out with _________?" 

"No." 

If the reason why I haven't gone out with him is on his end, not mine, I accept his decision and leave it at that. I would want to have my wishes respected if the situation was reversed. 

Then it comes: The straightening of the shoulders. The raised tilt of the chin. Lids lower over the battle-ready eyes. Then, delivered with a knowing smirk: "I'll talk to him." 

With a firm nod of the chin, he or she marches away, invisible sword and shield in hand. 

That is usually the last I hear of it. 

Talking! Why didn't anyone think of that? Singles, after all, don't know their own mind. They are unaware of the important things in life. They just need a firm, guiding voice that barely knows them to order them to stop this silliness and simply go out with/marry this particular girl because I said so. 

I have been on the receiving end of the "talk," and it is most unpleasant. The Talkers rarely realize that my unwillingness has valid sources, some I do not wish to relate as there is no need to fashmear a guy just to refuse a date. Or, whatever my logic, they will discount it anyway, so why bother to explain how this fellow does not compute with the qualities I seek in a life partner if I won't be heard anyway? 

"Why won't you?" they relentlessly repeat. You can almost hear his/her thoughts: I told him I would talk to her! I'm using words and everything!  But why doesn't it seem to be working? 

'Cause we know your Jedi mind tricks, and the Force is strong with us. 

These aren't the droids you're looking for.