Han was telling me of a sad occurrence. A matriarch made a Chanukah party because "We can't not have a Chanukah party!" The occasion became a super-spreader, and three people died.
I have been battling this mindset myself since COVID waltzed in: Not doing things because they currently aren't feasible. Having guests or being a guest. Attending levayas. Hugging my nieces and nephews.
Han had to physically hold his father back from going into a levaya, because how does one not go in?
"Pandemic-Proof Your Habits" by Kate Murphy begins with an interesting anecdote. She attended a Thanksgiving dinner that ended up being anti-establishment. No turkey. No mashed potatoes. No cranberry sauce. The salmon, roasted potatoes, and raspberry coulis was delicious.
The attendees lost their minds.
She explains that being met by the unexpected can really rattle us, due to brain wiring. Going against the habitual programming can throw us for a loop. Shavuos without cheesecake? No. Just no.
It made me realize why so many couldn't cope with the cancellation of minyan. We guys have so many rituals based around religion, and we were told that it is all right to do without for now, but there were those who refused to accept it.
COVID has made me reexamine my beliefs in some ways. I miss the Chanukah parties, the Shabbosim with family, the shul outings. But the basis of all those practices is belief. Without belief, they are meaningless.
So until we all get vaccinated, I shall focus on believing.
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