Han has a friend from his yeshiva days that he keeps up with. Let's call him . . . Lando. Lando didn't have such a fun time dating either, but he married before Han did and is now proud papa to a small fleet of children.
He and Han were chatting, and their previous dating lives came up. Lando was opining that as he had moved more to the right than his family, he did not have parents who could advocate for him whilst seeking a bride.
Han was a bit puzzled by his friend's observation. For one, while he and I are heimishe FFBs, our parents' involvements didn't guarantee earlier marriages. There's only so much advocation parents can do. Even if my father went around shaking his friends by their suit lapels, screaming "FIND HER A MAN, DAMMIT!" it wouldn't have meant that Han would have appeared anytime sooner.
Additionally, Lando's wife (great gal, I like her a lot) had just started dating when she was introduced to her husband. Meaning they couldn't even have met any earlier.
Unless Lando was saying that he could have married someone else if his parents were involved?
In the end, everyone who dates can have a reason why they are still single. They can blame their family, they can blame their religiosity level, they can blame physical attributes, they can blame a lot of things. But there are plenty of people who have "the deck stacked against them" and they still marry when young, even happily.
So Han and I have the same position: It's when God decides it's time. You can blame whoever you like. But as with everything in life, it's not in our control.
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