Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Never Say NEVER

Eons ago, when I was barely 20, Ma and I became enamored with an opinion writer in the local frum paper. He would espouse the importance of the small acts of derech eretz, like putting back the shopping cart instead of leaving it in the parking lot, where they occupy spaces and roll into unsuspecting cars. 

"YES!" Ma and I said firmly, nodding along fiercely to his articles. "Of course. Such a simple thing to do! And so important!" 

A decade or score later, I had to eat my own words. 

When Ben was born, my back took a hit. Big time. I could barely walk by his bris. I was hobbling for weeks. I had gotten a scan, I went to an orthopedist, who shrugged and said there was no visible damage, that the issue was muscular. But I was still in pain. 

I did Ta's roster of back exercises, and a few more, and sometimes they would keep the pain away, but sometimes they didn't. 

Leading up to my point. When Ben would still be in a car seat, I would haul the whole thing to the nearest shopping cart, trembling in agony afterward. To do the same on the return journey, putting back the cart then hauling him back to the car, was too much. Even when he got a little older and was able to sit in the cart, carrying him back to the car could be agony. 

So I wouldn't put back the cart. I would carefully park it nearby, to ensure it didn't bang into anyone, and smile apologetically to the store employee who collected all the strays. 

It took about two years, but Baruch Hashem my back pain has abated for the time being, and I can now return the shopping carts like a mensch. 

But during that back pain era, I was all too keen of my potential hypocrisy. Yes, it is an important thing to be considerate of others and return the cart. Yet there is also a time for exceptions, and I had to make an exception for me to not aggravate my injury.

I'm trying, I'm trying, not to be too adamant about issues. Because there will come a day I will probably have to backtrack.

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