IG Woes

As I confessed, I've actually downloaded Instagram. 

I'm very careful with it. I know it can be a gateway to self-loathing due to comparison, so I am discerning with those I follow. 

I prefer accounts where they share something funny or useful. Recipe developers, makeup artists, dermatologists, snarky mommy memes, comic strips, exercises for postpartum stomachs. If one person posts a picture of herself in a bikini, I unfollow her account. I am not here to feel bad about myself, or to assuage the neediness of another to be admired for her thigh gap. 

I think it's brilliant, social media, the way any person can promote their business or career without the need for someone on the inside.  Some accounts are for support, like @iwassupposedtohaveababy, which I think does an amazing service. 

But people take it too far, and I find it concerning.

I blame, to some extent, the constant messaging girls get in school that tznius means covered elbows and knees. Hatzneiya leches im Hashem is also about behavior. 

I squirm when someone posts about her anniversary, sharing multiple photos of her squeezing her boo, gushing about what a wonderful man he is. I shift when someone posts pictures of her perfectly coiffed children. What I find particularly irritating is when someone does the now standard "now don't think my life is perfect, cause it's not" post, but uses a pretty darn perfect photo to accompany that statement (how could someone look THAT good one month after having a baby???)

I remember, quite clearly, the envy that would overtake me anytime I saw a pic online of a new couple or a married couple or a couple with their kids when I was single. My lack of couplehood was so consuming that even if you told me your life wasn't perfect, I would roll my eyes: but you have a husband. You have children. Of course it isn't perfect. But you have what I don't and what I want.

There is a concept not to do PDA in public, lest it make others jealous (I forget the exact term). 

Additionally, when I see some IG accounts in person, they seem to not remember that they are being pretty open with themselves over the internet. They can't see their followers, they can't see their faces. They seem to think they are in a safe, enclosed bubble, when it is actually the opposite. The internet, let's not forget, is the domain of creepy men in a variety of basements.

I'm not saying it should be banned—far from it. But it should be navigated with caution, with restraint. Even I have fantasies of creating an IG account, but one that would not show my face, so I don't think it would be very popular (only @chezchaya managed to pull that off). 

And if there is an account that bums you out with her perfection, feel free to unfollow it. You'll be happier.