Ode to Persian Rugs

The Hungarians have a . . . well, how shall I put it? We are known for liking pretty, opulent things. Aesthetic complex? Although I don't see why it is such a terrible crime to have a chandelier in a bathroom. It's my bathroom, after all. How does that impinge on anyone else? 

Creating a beautiful home, daubed in bright paint and bird-themed throw pillows, is a lovely hobby. One's surroundings are a balm to the soul, an uplifter of the spirits. Every time I walk into the living room (from which kinfauna are banned), I sigh in delight. For reals.

Mario Buatta is Ma's favorite decorator.

There is a school of Jewish thought that frowns upon such attachment to physicality. Yet are we not also told that this world is for enjoyment? I heard in a shiur that simchas yom tov for men is in the food; for women, it is in clothing and bling. Good thing too, since I'm not partial to red meat. 

Currently, "minimalism" is in; sleek, functional, modern houses full of sharp corners and cold floors, not a cuddly spot to be found. There's that tidying-up book from Korea that went platinum. People are eager to toss out the unnecessary. 

Yet I am not the only one to find such an outlook unappealing ("The Oppressive Gospel of Minimalism" by Kyle Chayka). 

Part pop philosophy and part aesthetic, minimalism presents a cure-all for a certain sense of capitalist overindulgence. Maybe we have a hangover from pre-recession excess — McMansions, S.U.V.s, neon cocktails, fusion cuisine — and minimalism is the salutary tonic. Or perhaps it’s a method of coping with recession-induced austerity, a collective spiritual and cultural cleanse because we’ve been forced to consume less anyway. But as an outgrowth of a peculiarly American (that is to say, paradoxical and self-defeating) brand of Puritanical asceticism, this new minimalist lifestyle always seems to end in enabling new modes of consumption, a veritable excess of less. It’s not really minimal at all.

Have you noticed that minimalism allows only comes in white and gray? Why can't being minimalist be cerulean blue? Does minimalism mean that it can't be attractive at all?

Today’s minimalism, by contrast, is visually oppressive; it comes with an inherent pressure to conform to its precepts. Whiteness, in a literal sense, is good. Mess, heterogeneity, is bad — the opposite impulse of artistic minimalism. It is anxiety-inducing in a manner indistinguishable from other forms of consumerism, not revolutionary at all. Do I own the right things? Have I jettisoned enough of the wrong ones?

That's why I'm lame at cleaning out drawers or closets; there could possibly be a use for this item in the near future. It always seems that as soon as I donate something I come up for a use for it next week. 

For me, clutter can be delicious. Providing it passes the Hungarian "pretty" test.  

Ringless Men

It's sometimes an awkward conversation explaining to the unaffiliated or non-Jewish why most Jewish men don't wear wedding bands. 

One of Owen's friends starting wearing one to work because an amorous secretary kept hitting on him. Double aaaaaakward. 

But it seems, there are enough non-Jewish men nowadays not wearing wedding bands either ("Men Who Don't Wear Wedding Bands—And Why" by Abby Ellin)—not even Prince William, and it's not like he's trying to pretend he's not married. Martians tuned in to the royal wedding. 

See that left hand? Notice something?

So I did some lazy googling. While the practice for women's wedding rings have been around since the Egyptians, and the concept of the left fourth finger being designated for such a purpose from the Romans (because of a mistaken belief that the "love vein" runs through that digit), male wedding bands are very recent. 

"Vena Amoris"

The jewelry industry, as they did by popularizing diamonds for engagement rings, tried to make it a "thing," but it didn't take off until World War II when men wanted a memento of their loved one to take with them into battle. Then man bling came into style during the '60s and '70s.

As this letter attests:

I don’t think you can call men wearing wedding rings a “tradition” since it didn’t become common until fairly recently. I think it’s more of a fad that’s winding down.—Kevin Cunningham

It ain't even tradition! It's a newish stunt!

 

So breath easy, my coreligionists: Just shrug and claim a disinterest in trends, like "the fade" haircut.      

Quaking Lobes

While I now have had pierced ears for quite some time, it has not been in a painless saga. 

My ears were originally pierced when I was a baby, but an unfortunate episode involving a sweater left a tear in my lobe (I was too small to remember. Or too traumatized?) The rip didn't go all the way through, thank goodness, but I never wore earrings again from that day forward. 

My sister is much older than me, and when I was small I did what any self-respecting little sister would do, which is meddle in her possessions. I was messing around with her earrings and found, to my delight, that my holes had not closed up. 

I then proceeded to heartlessly shove any sort of earring through the piercings, and it was not soon after when they began to ooze unpleasantly. It turns out my ears are fineshemeker-ish, refusing to tolerate anything other than 14K gold. 

Later I got the long tear in my lobe professionally stitched up (it turned out I was totally overcharged for that) and so needed re-piercing. I went to a lady in a house in Brooklyn. 

"Titanium," she said, when I told her of the ooze, and she pierced my ears with titanium studs, which worked fabulously. My niece's ears were exuding pus until I gave her a spare pair of titanium studs I purchased inexpensively for such emergencies on Ebay.

Now you know. Piercing ears, just get titanium. 

Semi-Precious Engagement

One day on the train I noticed the girl next to me had on an engagement ring. 

At least, I think it was an engagement ring. The diamond on it was a microscopic fleck. 

I perfectly understand that when it comes to finances, one should always stay within their means, especially when it comes to something unnecessary like an engagement ring. However, where is it written that it must be a diamond? What if, by choosing something more affordable, like semi-precious, one could have a larger stone? 

I love colored stones. I also love large stones. If I had to choose between a huge emerald-cut "something" or a teeny diamond, I'd rather go with the "something."  

The world is filled with a bright, rainbow array of beautiful stones! Yet why do we covet the colorless ones?  ("They sparkle so," Ma says longingly . . .)

Semi-Precious Options

Citrine (quartz family) is my top love. It has a warmth to it that flatters the skin, and looks beautiful with yellow gold.

Garnets' deep red evoke "Her price is far above rubies." 

Peridot is usually an olive green, but can vary in intensity.

Topaz can be clear like diamond, but has a large range of hues and tints. There is Caribbean-beach blue, barely-there green, or citrine-like yellow, just to name a few.  

Blue Topaz

Yellow Topaz

Tourmaline also comes in many shades, and I happen to like their pinks (and I am not even a pink person). Green tourmaline can look similar to an emerald. There are also "ombré" stones that change colors.

Pink Tourmaline

Kunzite is a pale pink-violet. 

Iolite is a rich, deep blue with violet undertones.

Morganite (or "Pink Beryl") is a pale pink. 

Aquamarine (beryl family) is usually turquoise. 

Amethyst (beryl family): purple. 


Green Amethyst (quartz family) is actually regular amethyst that has been treated with heat, morphing the lavender shade to that of a refined barely-there green. 

Pearl: With a variety of prices, quality, and colors, one can have a lot of fun there. 

Alexandrite (chrysoberyl family, which is not the same as beryl): contains more than one shade in its greens and pinks.

Ametrine (quartz family) combines the two shades of amethyst and citrine, hence its name. 

Avail thyself of rainbow hues to profess thy love.

Pearls Ain't Pricey No More

I have always been a fan of pearls. They add a pleasing glow to the complexion without being the most expensive jewelery available.

I have been purchasing for insanely low amounts pearl bracelets and necklaces on Ebay from China. While "freshwater" was in the description, I figured they were fudging the actual authenticity. 

Yet, according to NYTimes, they may not have been. 

Apparently China, yet again, is edging out other pearl providers with a more affordable product. Rice patties are being converted to pearl farms, and the quality is pretty amazing. 

I think China is starting to grow on me. 

No pun intended.