One day in the office, Han overheard a conversation, and intrigued, drifted over.
A fellow had explained to a female co-worker that he had gone on a date, but decided not to continue for a number of problematic red flags.
The woman was poo-pooing his choice, saying he was being too particular, questioning his judgement.
Note that Han is the only observant Jew at work, but these two weren't even Jewish. As gentile as they come.
There's this phenomenon I've noticed when people seem to think that their situation is unique, and ascribe it to certain circumstances.
Like, "I'm single because my family is fruity."
There are plenty of young marrieds with fruity families.
Or, "I'm single because of my health condition" (meaning "no one wants to date me because of my health condition")
There are plenty of young marrieds with health conditions.
Or, "I'm single because I'm frum."
There are plenty of single gentiles and frei Jews out there. I didn't watch the entire Bridesmaids, but the opening scene hit so hard. Annie (Kristen Wiig) nervously enters her friend's engagement party, only to be bombarded on with snide comments about her lack of partner and fending off nebachs.
Look, I get it. It's human nature to try to find the reason why our desires aren't fulfilled. We want to blame a specific circumstance for our singlehood, because enough people do blame singles for being single. But It's not my fault! I can't help this!
Yet that path leads to anger and resentment. One starts railing at the constructed reason, rather than finding joy in other avenues available.
There are plenty of people who are single and there is no reason.
The fun part about being frum is that if you leave it to His timing, that does take the pressure off.
