Enough

I recently read "The Matchmaker's List" by Sonya Lalli, about a woman of Indian heritage who is under constant pressure by her beloved grandmother to get married already. 

At one point, the granddaughter begs, crying, for her to please stop. She loves her Nani, but this insistence was driving her away. No matter the grandmother's intentions, the message received was: You are not enough. You need someone else to complete you.  

While I did want to marry during my years and years of dating, I did not like being viewed as dofek simply because I was single. Not married? Not only are you not enough, there must be something wrong with you to boot. 

The emphasis on marriage, however, is not only from our religious community. This article notes that it's a steady message in American culture—heck, look at the reality shows. It's all about a wedding. 

I spent my youth reading books and watching comedies about women frantic to marry. Now I've tired of that storyline. I still enjoy romance, but not along the lines of insecure females acting nervously goofy in a desperate attempt to woo an improbably gorgeous man (or vice versa, for that matter). 

The stories I like better is when characters know the difference between what they can control and what they can't. They know they can't make Prince Charming walk through the door, but are open to his arrival, and don't push him away for lame reasons. ("The Unhoneymooners" by Christina Lauren was hysterical and MA). 

It's absolutely ridiculous how I was treated by some when I was single. Because we are enough, no matter our relationship status.