I've also started watching 9 Perfect Strangers, which was based on a book by Liane Moriarty, one of my favorite authors. The show takes a pretty large departure from the text, and there's definitely more kink than I would like, but hey, I'm loyal.
It's about an atypical wellness retreat, headed by the mysterious Masha who keeps it shrouded in secrecy. One of the new guests, Lars, is introduced as not very pleasant. He's mean, quite frankly.
Lars is gay, and apparently knew that very early on. He has a flashback to his childhood prep school, where his classmates tormented him for that. He became an investigative reporter, trying to sniff out misdeeds and proclaiming them to the world.
Masha asks him this: Your whole life has been about tearing down. You target the bullies and destroy them. The question is, have you ever nurtured anything?
Well, that line made me think.
Lars has, all this time, couched his snarkiness in a veil of righteous indignation, but in actuality, he is a bully too. His job may be important, yet he has forgotten about kindness.
I belong to a few online groups. One member posted a rant, about "those people who don't say Gut Shabbos" and "the people I invited for meals and didn't invite me back."
I understand her frustration. She's right, it isn't nice when people don't return a greeting or a meal. But her anger is tearing her down. It won't improve the situation. Giving someone the stinkeye for not responding to your Sabbath greeting doesn't achieve anything.
However, a big smile, despite being ignored, has a far better outcome for everyone involved. It nurtures not only others, but oneself too.
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