Schwartz Ain't Cool

"They're trying to keep up with the Schwartzes," he explained, "and they are drowning financially in the process." 

"People are still trying keep up with the Schwartzes?" I replied incredulously. 

 

It wasn't until I became familiar with the British class system (thank you, My Fair Lady) that I understood the concept of upward mobility. But the funny thing about class in England is that it is a separate entity from finances (because estates tended to be entailed, and the nobility began to run out of money around the time of industrialization . . . but that's a whole other post). 

In the U.S., however, being classy is also a separate entity from money, simply because money is the only thing that matters (as a Jones-Schwartz). Yet I was surprised to hear that there are those who go into hock for a second luxury vehicle, especially since no one really cares. 

No one notices conspicuous consumption anymore. Not only that, as Steven Quartz and Anette Asp reports in "Unequal, Yet Happy," those who cannot chuck away their money so heedlessly (or unwilling to sign their names in blood to do so) can simply spin their smaller incomes as being "cool." 

Wearing an expensive suit and tie was once the only way to reflect success, and the blue-collar worker would feel that discrepancy keenly. Now, young techies, lolling about in tees and jeans, can smirk at those fast-paced Wall Street stooges.

Today, all of us are the masters of PR. Anything can be cool, and anything can be the boring, barf flip-side. Take makeup. I like it, but others find it false and tedious, thereby turning their cosmetic-less image into something anti-establishment and "natural."

Because individuals can own their outlook, people are happier than ever, even with the hiccuping economy and the shrinking middle class. We can make anything cool.

Why would any of us bother to keep up with the Schwartzes? Anytime Mr. Schwartz upgraded an expensive toy, all the neighbor would have to do is shrug and say, "I'm more about preserving the environment, you know? Less waste. Leaving a cleaner planet for my children."