Monday, February 26, 2018

How to Stay Sane While Dating, III

Our world is mostly composed of couples. I suppose the world in general is. Singles are often underrepresented, like the dearth of women's fashion for the non-standard size, despite the fact that the average American woman wears a 14 to 18.

Since these families are raising the next generation, their lives are immersed with Judaic themes, on a childish level. Singles aren't there, obviously, and many don't quite know what their purpose is. They often believe that their only focus is to marry in order to achieve their ideal Jewish role.
Scottish Jews, Purim, c 1930s
Yet I had had an epiphany a few years ago: Marrying is only one mitzvah, and the obligation is on men only. It must be that singles can accomplish more beyond pursuing marriage.  

Choose other mitzvos to improve on. Marrying is but one mitzvah of quite a few, yet we get despondent and frustrated. Yes, ideally, we would all be paired up swiftly and painlessly, but the Eibishter decreed for some another aggravating path.

While slogging down that road, remember, hey, you're a card-carrying Jew, and there are plenty of commandments that can be improved upon: Shabbos, davening, kibud av v'eim, shmiras halashon, etc. etc. 

We forget all the things and opportunities we do have when we focus on what we don't. Find a speaker you like. Grab an educational book. Learning doesn't have to end after seminary or yeshiva. There are so many halachos I am ignorant or misinformed of. How many times have I been mechalel Shabbos because I never bothered to study the laws?

It's also fun to discover that Judaism is not as black and white as we thought.

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