Wednesday, March 28, 2018

It's a Long Chol HaMoed

Long time readers know that I am a serious aunt. I've been in the trenches. I've been up at night with babies, been barfed and **** on, and read Harry Potter until I thought my throat would never be moist again. 

But reading a child a book can be a lovely experience, providing one overcomes one's initial reluctance. Kids will do anything to be read a book. It's the best form of bribery that doesn't involve cavities (candy), next-day exhaustion (later bedtime), or screen addiction (tv).
Mallia Wollian reminded me of this with "How to Read Aloud to Children." When the babies were old enough to be read to, I recalled the pitiful effort my siblings expended when they read to me. They would utilize flat monotones only, and rattle along at high speed. Plus there was always some form of quid-pro-quo. It wasn't enjoyable. Luckily I picked up reading skills quickly enough so I didn't have to rely on them. 

When I read to kids? The first time Han saw me smothered beneath children, holding up a Berenstain Bears so everyone could see the pictures, he cracked up. I go slowly and clearly. I do voices. I use inflection and nuance. 

Sometimes they do have to beg me, of which I am not proud. Then when I have that warm, trusting weight on my lap, eager to hear my take on Farmer Ben's southern accent . . . like I said, it's lovely. 


Daniel Saunders said...

Shabbos treat growing up: Dad reading my sister and me Tintin or Asterix, with voices.

Anonymous said...

You read the Harry Potter books, but I saw all 8 Harry Potter movies for free on the internet.

Would you agree with me that Harry Potter is a more appropriate match for Hermione Granger than Ron Weasley?

Hermione Granger succeeded in changing laws, and is therefore the equivalent of a senator. Ron Weasley became a retail-store employee, and later an auror, which is the equivalent of a policeman or security guard. He never even finished his education at Hogwart’s unlike Hermione who did. For Hermione Granger, becoming Mrs. Ron Weasley was definitely marrying-down.

Harry Potter is a more appropriate match for Hermione Granger than Ron Weasley because:
[1] he is the Chosen One
[2] he owns a vault filled with gold coins
[3] he owns Grimauld Place
[4] he a natural leader
[5] he is more reliable than Ron.

J.K. Rowling committed an error when she made Ginny the sister of Ron, because that made it impossible for them to marry each other, which forced Ginny to marry Harry instead of Ron, which forced Hermione to marry Ron instead of Harry.

Princess Lea said...

DS: TINTIN! That was my childhood, along with "Calvin and Hobbes." I own them all, even the racist one "Tintin in the Congo" that my library didn't have.

Anon: Previously addressed:

I have no objection to Harry ending up with Ginny, though.

Anonymous said...

The problem is not Harry marrying Ginny.

The problem is Hermione not marrying Harry.

Princess Lea said...

My complaint is strictly Hermione marrying Ron. I have no issue that she didn't end up with Harry. Frankly, I don't see them together. I was always Team Viktor.