One of my cringey memories is of the time I accidentally kissed the hostess of a simcha on the lips. I was angling for one cheek, she headed the other way, and, well . . .
Apparently, mine was not a unique situation. Nick Haramis writes he did the same thing to Miuccia Prada. At least I was on friendly terms with lady I smooched; I don't think Miuccia was thrilled when a random fashion editor pecked her mouth.
The article is about la bise, the French cheek kiss, and how it is doomed now in the age of corona-hygiene. Dr. Fauci thinks that hand shaking should be banned forevermore (yay!), so actual smooching is going the way of the dodo.
Haramis hysterically relates all the kisses that went wrong.
. . . when I fail — as I often do — it’s rarely pretty. One time, I got a publicist’s earring lodged between the arm of my glasses and a sprout of unkempt sideburn. Another time, I went in for the initial right-to-right cheek smack (as is customary in Paris) only to realize that the person I’d been introduced to was from Italy (where they usually begin on the opposite side). In another instance, after I’d absolutely nailed the double kiss, my Belgian acquaintance ruined everything by going back in for a triple-dip. The agreed-upon number of kisses varies not only across countries but across regions within countries.
Hey, I'm happy to never air-kiss a roomful of perfumed and makeuped women again. You know how stressful it is to get jostled at a delicate moment and have your painted lips desecrate another's cheek?
But it is, however, simultaneously sad. I have a cousin who gives excellent hugs. You feel amazing afterward. She won't hug me again, probably.
2 comments:
I think most of us have similar stories! In my case, it was just an almost, thankfully, because it stayed an air kiss!
Kissing of good friends/family will come back eventually I believe, but the European kiss that is the version of a handshake for colleagues and introductions will go away, I predict. Maybe I'm just really American but I think that's for the best. I am fine with kissing a relative not so much a colleague! Hugs are ok for a colleague if a bit awkward at times.
God, so awkward! The bise doesn't come naturally to the US, and I'm very happy not to hug colleagues.
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