Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Not Alike? Sure They Are.

My boss, who is Jewish but not religious, has an annoying habit of kibbitzing. A client of his was being overly-friendly with me, and his theory was that maybe the client was trying to play matchmaker for his son, much to my horror. 

My boss wanted to know why that would be a problem. I responded that I am a Sabbath observer, and these guys are not. "What does that matter?" he snorted. 

"Jack, I'm religious. I actually believe in this claptrap. I believe in it so much that, for me, I wouldn't be able to have a conversation with a potential suitor if he didn't believe in the same things I do." 

"Oh, please," he scoffed. "Like your parents talk about religion?" 

"Um, yeah, they do. All the time." 

"WHAT?"
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_VAtdalORTT0/ShjYC00J31I/AAAAAAAAAIA/juqr4TpaevQ/S1600-R/title.gif
When two people aren't perfectly alike, religion is a wonderful glue. Like this couple; republican meets democrat, amongst other things. Both Asian and deeply religious, they view commitment in a way that has somewhat fallen to the wayside. 
“Love is definitely about feelings and emotions and poetry,” she said, “but for me it’s about sacrificing for the other person, putting their feelings before your own.” 
And: 
. . . during a lunch at his church . . . Ms. Hsieh excused herself and began to clean up. When he asked her why she was doing that, she told him she felt the need to serve others. 
“From that point, he made it clear he was here to serve me,” she said. They had a frank discussion about marriage, commitment and sacrifice, and agreed to devote themselves to each other, to the glory of God and to serving others. 
And: 
A relationship proceeded, though the word “love” did not enter into it. When they discussed previous relationships, Mr. Wong told Ms. Hsieh that former girlfriends had been upset that he had not expressed affection. She told him she did not expect him to say those sorts of things to her.
She said that in her previous relationship, she did not understand the meaning of love. Mr. Wong, she said, “was more legalistic about it. For me, it was more experience related.”
Though the word itself was not spoken, the feeling did manifest itself . . . 
I have always had issues with "I love you." To me, love, as it says above, can and should be expressed through action. The same way that every day is Mother's Day, every day should be Valentine's Day. Deeds on a beloved's behalf means love, not words.

The couple kissed for the first time at their wedding ceremony. Yeah, we hear that. 

I could probably put up with all sorts of alien mishagaas from a man (what is this thing with sports?) but I really hope that we will click when it comes to religion. The basic stuff. I'm always game for a theological discussion.  

4 comments:

FrumGeek said...

My dad is often stoic, much like his father before him. I know he loves me, and he shows it in action, but it'd still be nice to hear it once in a while...

Princess Lea said...

FG: Why? For me, it would have the grating annoyance of stating the obvious: "The sky is blue." "No, really?" "I love you." "No, really?"

Duh, your father loves you! And I'm not even a stoic.

Mighty Garnel Ironheart said...

What is this thing with sports?
Well what's the thing with shoes, makeup, turning the mall inside out before finding what you want, spending all evening on your hair, and high heels?

Princess Lea said...

MGI: I said I'm willing to be open. And shut your face; most normal men I know appreciate it when their wife looks good (re hair and high heels). What does a woman get out of her husband's sports fascination?