Friday, October 25, 2013

Masters of Misleading

"Oh, I know just the boy for you," she trills, continuing to gush about his qualities. "Email me!" 

The next morning, I dutifully send her my information. She replies, "Could you go through this organization I'm a member of? Thanks!" 

A month later and $100 poorer, I emerge dazed from the "discrete" location of this dating organization, tucked away in the midst of rambling Brooklyn. Most of the names the tribunal had suggested I had already gone out with, and the few that I hadn't sounded . . . not me. 

As for the specific bachelor originally mentioned? No one had brought him up. 

I have been contacted only once since they took my money, and that was with a fellow so off his sanity that his "What he's looking for" section made me swallow my soup wrong.   

I was a victim of the Nigerian Scam. "You will receive all your heart can ever desire, in exchange for a small fee." Not.
At least if I had kept the money I could have had new shoes for emotional support.    


FrumGeek said...

They charge money!?!

Fairo said...

Sorry, FG, but I have to respectfully disagree with you here. The individuals who get involved in these organizations are good-hearted and well-meaning. And overall, they are successful. (By "success" I do not mean that every person who has entered their doors has been properly paired. I mean that they have made shidduchim and helped society. The exact number does not matter. Which of us would deny that that is a wonderful accomplishment.) True, not every person has a pleasant and happily-ever-after experience. But by paying for a service, we are encouraging these kind people to continue in their noble work. They could be doing other things with their time. They deserve to be compensated and encouraged. I was an older single until recently, and I had very similar experiences to PL when dealing with these people, but you know what, it wasn't Bashert for it to happen for me in this way. That doesn't minimize the efforts of the shadchanim. Sometimes payment can be the best way to keep people going, either as compensation or as motivation.

Anonymous said...

Maybe, but you have to admit,the way this woman went about it was kind of sneaky--definitely not above board. If you're going to charge money, be upfront about it instead of making it seem like you're doing it purely out of the goodness of your heart.

Princess Lea said...

I still feel fleeced. The ONE suggestion that they initially tried to sweet-talk me into, then attempted to terrorize me to accept—we're talking elderly sociopath here.

While I am sure plenty of "shadchanim" are pleasant or courteous (and I actually have met a number of them!) it is also naive to state that ALL of them have hearts of gold. Being sought after can be gratifying, and requesting cash for services that don't have to be delivered is not exactly a free market.

That is why traditionally, shadchanus is provided AFTER a successful shidduch.

To be a shadchan is not easy, and not everyone has the nature for it. Nor does one have to self-title oneself in order to redd.

Tovah11 said...

You got fleeced. I don't believe she could do something like that. These people prey on our vulnerabilities; knowing full well that we will keep trying and never badmouth them.

It's kind of an extortion.

Sorry you went through that, PL. Hang in there; you will find someone as wonderful as you are.

Princess Lea said...

Tovah, I could kiss you.