"7:30, then?"
"Sounds good."
"Looking forward."
Click.
The question is, what does "7:30" mean?
Does it mean "Of course I'm feeding you, it's dinnertime!" or does it mean "I'm assuming you've had supper already, how about some coffee?" (This quandary applies to any time frame between 4 and 10, come to think of it.)
One 7:30 date matter-of-factly took me to Starbucks while I attempted to hush my growling belly. Therefore, prior to the following 7:30 date, I stuffed myself with two bowls of whole-grain cereal, only to be ushered into a scrumptious milchig restaurant. Not wanting to dissuade such chivalrous conduct by claiming fullness, nor desiring to appear anorexic, I fell upon my sword—I mean my gnocchi.
That left me woefully unprepared for the next 7:30, since I did not wish to strain the waistline of my skirt yet again, but he hustled me into—you guessed it—Starbucks.
Perhaps the guys could make it simpler if the exchange went as follows:
"7:30, then? We'll get coffee."
or
"7:30, then? We'll have supper."
Three little extra words. Makes a world of a difference.
25 comments:
Preach! It is a never ending conundrum!
I always make sure to say when planning "do you want to get food? Or are you okay eating before and doing something else?"
Give the girl a choice once in a while.
Why don't you just ASK what the date will be. SMH
Truth. A guy once said we would go for dinner. We didn't. Date started at 130 in the afternoon. I got home at 8. All I had was a grande mocha latte. Oy.
WM: I actually hate that, because duh, eating out costs more than drinks, and I'm not going to tell a guy I don't know how to spend his money.
Anon: Goes back to that. If I ask him what we will be doing, then he'll think I'm some pushy broad with demands, and he'll respond, "Uh, what do you wanna do?" and I don't care, I just want to KNOW so I don't starve or force feed myself.
Are you a dude, too?
Cause the gals here are on my side, aminspriration and Rachelli, word. Yeesh, nearly SEVEN hours together, he says you'll get dinner, and the poor thing is wasting away.
We gals don't pay. You guys do. That is as it should be. But that means there are some things we pussy-foot around, 'cause we're POLITE.
You are right, eating out does cost more money...but if someone isn't willing to spend money on a date, then maybe they aren't the right person to be dating.
I am not talking about a steakhouse, costing lots of money, I am saying that their are alternatives that are less-expensive.
Don't I know it! I do agree with you that when a guy feeds a gal he is more invested in the date itself, but I still won't make his choice for him. I cannot make a guy become more invested in the date unless he is willing to.
As I said originally, you can say "I am okay doing something else", which leaves the door open for numerous options.
Food != Invested....Spending money == Usually Does. (Not Spending Money != Not Invested, just to be clear on that)
Can I air another complaint while we're at it? Don't take a girl out to a resturant at dinner time (around 8sih) and then order yourself a tea...
Agreed! It works both ways on that...if you are going to a food place, you gotta eat!
(It's why I never go on dates to Starbucks (or coffee shops), because I don't drink any of their products (and because frankly, that's a pretty boring date)).
and we come full circle...if we knew we were going out to dinner...we wouldnt eat beforehand..and thus would be hungry and would then eat at said food place
This is getting so convoluted I feel like we've stumbled upon alternate Star Trek timelines. This should not be so complex.
Can we just go back to my original suggestion? Just TELL me what we are going to do, since gals won't tell guys what to do, unless they have been dating for some time and feel comfortable enough making such statements?
I agree with princess. Us girls are way to polite to ask. The guy makes the call, sets the time to meet and drives the car-hence choosing the date venue. He shud clearly say '7:30 then? We will go for supper if that's ok with you'. Been there, done that. But then again, I've also been on the short '7:30?' line and end up coming home at midnight and binging on Oreos :( what do we learn from this? COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION
Ah, the Betazoids and their telepathy . . .
Just ask "Where are we going, so I know what to wear?" Its not pushy or impolite, and you get your answer.
The problem is that it is a first date, and chances are there won't be anything more strenuous than either a coffee or dinner, and my garb does not alter much between those two options.
The question makes it sound like I expect grappling hooks or a prematurely romantic horseride . . . and it's not even that I can say, "Hey, one first date took me spelunking, so that's why I'm asking." I haven't. They've all been lobbies, coffees, or meals.
So, you men can keep trying . . . or just tell me. ;)
If those have been the only options for first dates...they all sound a little dull
:-/
dating tends to be dull..tho i have been offered some more "exciting" suggestions, which to suffice it to say where extremely cringe-worthy!
I'll go with dull any day! I like dull. Nothing happens to my favorite skirt during dull.
Your garb may not alter, but guys don't know that
Does no one have sisters?
Even with sisters, we're still clueless in the ways of women. Heck, I have a woman as my roommate and I'm still clueless
*Sigh.* We are so much more observant of your kind.
Hi, Anon from October 31 here again (sorry for the delay), and just to let you know, I am female. And I always ask what the date will be. It's not impolite. It's normal. Be an adult, have a conversation, and JUST ASK. The world will not explode if you do. Sheesh.
Well, I thought I was having a conversation with my audience, you still didn't understand me, did you?
And you thought you were conversing with me as an obvious female, but I thought you were a dude.
Normality is relative. For me, it is impolite, for you, it is normal. God bless.
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