If any blog is to survive, tales of dating are needed, the gorier, the better. I don't have many, but I managed to rustle one up. Bad4 threatened to post it if I didn't, so here goes:
It was one of my earliest dating experiences; my brother knew the suggested date from yeshiva, he wasn't on the terrorist watch list, all was well. I'll be honest - I was young, not the most adept conversationalist, somewhat clueless about body language, and he wasn't having the best time (he could have faked it the way I have on numerous occasions). He made it quite obvious (in word and demeanor) he wasn't enjoying himself, and the shadchan (not the most pleasant woman) gleefully called back expressing the fellow's horror.
The date in question, for purposes of clarification, will be referred to (in the spirit of the Force) as Ponda Baba, the walrus-looking criminal that loses his arm in the cantina after picking a fight with Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi (Obi-Wan did the actual slicing).
Ponda here gets constantly re-redd to me for some reason; over six years, he keeps cropping up. It is probably without his knowledge, so I cannot accuse him of stalking; but in any case it is very annoying when, repeatedly, a shadchan calls breathlessly expounding his name.
A few months ago my neighbor emails me this resume, with Ponda Baba's name in the subject line. I wearily type back a response that I went out with this guy already. I had clicked open the attached resume, and my mother was peering over my shoulder; she said, "That's not him."
The attached photo had a vague resemblance to Ponda (but better looking, dare I say it). The age wasn't right - only two years older than me, while he should be much older, and having been in school with Luke, he named a different high school. His listed height was taller than he was.
I figured maybe this fellow was his cousin, knowing he came from a large extended family; I emailed an amendment that if it is not Ponda, then what the heck. It could be worth a date.
The shadchan calls back, seemingly mad at me, that Ponda and the profile are the same thing.
He is younger, taller, better looking, different school, and it's the same guy?
To be dan lkaf zechus, maybe a zealous younger sister hijacked his information, in an attempt to add flare (if not outright falsehoods). A corrupted file transformed his photo. He freakishly grew 4 inches at 28. The resume was old so it says he was younger. He went for a year or two to a different high school and he didn't want it to get complicated.
All these possibilities? Or none?