Monday, January 27, 2014

Battle of the Bulge: The Moment of Truth

I bought a scale

I did have a scale, kinda. It was Costco issue, a mechanical model that would recalibrate at whimsy. Additionally, I shared it with the other members of my household, and when it began to stubbornly provide the same number that I was unhappy to see, even after a few weeks of really, really, REALLY watching myself, I went on Amazon and purchased the best reviewed item.
At least, for that window of shipment time, I could pretend it's the scale's fault.

But I am determined to eradicate, to the best of my ability, any shreds of denial. In general. What better way than to have my own personal scale parked in my bathroom, casting a judgmental eye every time I enter? 

Maybe I should leave it in the kitchen. 

Anywho, the item is quite accurate. Too accurate. I wonder what my weight would be if I cut my hair. 

In any case, I am not sure if weighing myself daily is a good idea (eat one little thing with sodium and the scale lovingly measures every ounce of water weight) but the die is cast. Studies have established that those who weigh themselves daily stick to the "path" with far greater success. 

The scale seems to enjoy messing with me; it is impossible that I gained six pounds in two days, considering what I eat (mostly plant life). 

Nope, this wasn't a good idea. It's making me neurotic. 

The time to weigh oneself should be first thing in the morning, before consuming any food, even a glass of water.

And today's number is . . .  

Damn you! 

Luke popped in for a visit, and due to his recent re-interest in weight maintenance, blithely asked the way to my new toy. 

"It's mean," I warned him. "It'll make you cry." 

He waved a dismissive hand, and pranced up the stairs to my bathroom. He emerged rather deflated. 

"Your scale is mean," he affirmed. 

The next morning I gingerly step onto it, and it triumphantly flashes a string of perfectly reasonable numbers. 

"You have been spared today," I magnanimously decree. "This is not the morning I throw you out the window."  


aminspiration said...

i actually bought the same one recently. It is mean and vindictive, especially on sunday mornings :)

Princess Lea said...

On Sunday mornings it is a b****. Ahem. But I have very passionate feelings toward it.

Anonymous said...

i read somewhere that you should only weigh urself once a week because u fluctuate 5 lbs daily

Princess Lea said...

It has been repeatedly said recently (and I just read it again this morning) that for successful weight loss, weighing every day is best. Those who weighed themselves every day kept off the loss; those who weighed themselves weekly didn't.

The key is not to take it too personally, especially since female hormones also causes water bloat regularly. Dudes should, though. :)