Don't Buy Her Flowers, Get a DVD

I used to be quite partial to the rom-com, although today's offerings, unless period pieces, are rather lacking. But I could always watch You've Got Mail or When Harry Met Sally or Hope Floats, those classic offerings of men and women. 

As I understand it, most fellows groan when their womenfolk insist on a chick flick for date night. But, dudes, those ninety minutes may mean that you can dodge something even more onerous: Couples therapy. 

As Tara Parker-Pope reports, couples who watched a specific genre of film and discussed the various featured concepts tended to have more secure marriages, to the point that viewing Love Story was just as effective as a therapist.

For those who are unwilling to spill their marital guts to a third party, a movie can instigate necessary conversation in an innocuous way.

Consider: "Yaakov, I think we have to see a shrink for our marriage." Dun-dun-dun! Yaakov will definitely be on the defensive. 

However: "Sweetie, can I choose the movie tonight? Please? I'll make popcorn . . ." The poor chap doesn't even realize that he has been casually ensnared. 

Yet not all chick flicks are created alike. Apparently, my go-to, When Harry Met Sally, did not make the cut, since "falling in love" is not the ideal. The therapeutic movies should depict couples in the middle of the relationship, when matters are less "starry-eyed" and more "dirty socks." Here is a link to get access to the movie list, although I wonder if certain sitcoms would make the list.

When men and women see themselves in such a role-play situation, they can realize the absurdities of little grudges, or comprehend how insupportable some bad habits are. But since it's Steve Carell and Tina Fey goofing up, the messages are indirect, as opposed to a personal attack.

Want to avoid the counselor? Spend date night with Date Night.