Against my will (really) my trusty Razr was updated to an iPhone. I was initially fearful that I would become a texting maniac, but it hasn't yet become appealing. I can still claim Luddite status.
But, upsettingly, now that I have cast my prehistoric flip aside, it has boomeranged back as hip. Yup, that's right, the very reason why I hung onto it for all these years—practicality, ease, I don't have to flip through ten different screens just to make a friggin' phone call—is why it's currently trendy.
To whit, "This Old Phone is the Latest Thing," followed by a CBS This Morning segment. Celebrities favor my former accessory (once I didn't even realize it was missing until it rang between the car seats) since it is more secure; they can't get hacked.
There are other perks.
As a night-life chronicler, I can observe what’s going on every night instead of obsessively tweeting about it or video-recording it for Instagram or YouTube.
And like Mr. Schumer, I enjoy not being a slave to my email everywhere I go. I can live in the moment (and it’s fun to have emails to look forward to when I get home at night). While my dinner dates are staring at their screens, I can concentrate on reading the menu, stuffing my face or gathering stained napkins.
Right after I got the new phone, Ma and I took Thing 1 and Thing 2 for an outing in Manhattan (she had made a casual offer and they had voraciously taken her up on it). Despite the fact that it was the hottest day of the summer and we spent most of the time saying, "No, we're not buying that" the girls had blast walking the smelly, jammed, broiling city streets (for some reason) that months later, they insist it was the best day they ever had.
It had been shortly beforehand that I became armed with a smartphone, and I was encouraged to whip it out and tap photos. These two gals have older sisters; as soon as they saw me brandish the stupid thing they went into pose mode, as they are often photographed for "aren't they so cuuuuuute" purposes.
Heads together, hands clasped, frozen grins: Pose 1. Back to back, arms crossed, frozen grins: Pose 2 . . . ranging to Pose 18. They just automatically fell into formation, without coaxing.
But there are more important things than pictures.
I had thought those shots were backed up to the iCloud when that insane iOS update demanded space to install, but they weren't. Poof, gone, vaporized. Yet, that day won't be forgotten so fast.
I want my old phone back.