Cheaper Is Not Better

The idea came upon me gradually; I can assure my audience that the change in thought process took time. 

When in stores like Daffy's or Marshall's, one may come across an item that is so stupendously reduced that one just has to buy it as a "Why not?" since it costs "nothing," $5, or $10, or $20, compared to its original price. 

If it has no purpose, it still qualifies as a waste. 

I learned this only after my room began to pile up with bits of garment and shoe that were never donned; it couldn't be worn in public, really, as it didn't suit me at all, but it was just so cheap. After winnowing down my garments for the local Chabad-run thrift shop, I figured better spending was in order. 

Don't get me wrong; I love markdowns and sales as much as the next person. But I don't let that equate buying everything that has a "75% off" stamp on it. Very often I'll leave a shopping expedition empty-handed, but then again there are plenty of times that I find something that even a lack of purchase can be satisfying. 

I know I have a tendency to be penny-wise and pound-foolish, but consider: $5 in your wallet is $5 in your wallet. It could be better spent on items one could actually use or need, like the big bottle of nail polish remover. And all those "just $5" purchases accumulate over time. 

For instance, let's say someone buys a $2 black coffee from Starbucks, five days a week. That comes out to over $500 a year. You know what sort of clothing you could have got for that? 

Lyz Lenz had this attire-epiphany after ceasing to clothes-shop for six months. Previously, she had for herself a $50 monthly budget for wardrobe, which she spend on cheap or ill-fitting clothing simply due to the low price. But quantity is not quality; the items tended to disintegrate, as well as not flatter her. So to reeducate her purchasing eye, she invoked a shopping ban. 

Her time away from sales racks has resulted in her removing offensive items from her closet. She has now discovered that she has a "personal style," and when her six months are up she now knows what she will buy and for what purpose, and which garments are worth investing in. 

Her "nazir" method makes a lot of sense; by removing oneself from an everyday behavior pattern, one is able to reevaluate. 

There was a family in my neighborhood who really knew how to shop. Every season they would get for themselves one outfit, one outfit, that would be the sharpest, most "in" look at the moment, and wear it all the time. Did I notice they were "repeating"? Not really. The look was so fabulous and suited them so well that even repetition became chic.

I have skirts and sweaters and jackets and blouses for years, because I make a point to buy classic yet interesting items. Yes, they may cost more, but because I don't eat out I figure it squares out, and they last for a pretty long time. 

The bottom line is: To look chic, take the long view.    

Get Satisfaction

I met a friend for lunch. When the bill came, I plunked down some cash and airily told the waitress to keep the change. 

Three hours later and halfway across the city I froze. I had underpaid.

Oh, shoot. 

In my defense, I cannot add. When scientific calculators were granted to us in high school I was weeping with joy; I aced my algebra exams but basic math functions is still beyond me.

It was a broiling summer day, and the idea of plunging into the hellish abyss of the subway was daunting. So I began to tell myself that I was imagining things. That I skimped the bill by only less than $3. That, c'mon, you know you can't add, so how can you know for sure if you underpaid?

But  I was raised in a rather moral household, and an invisible hand had clenched my innards; I knew I would have no peace unless I rectified the matter.

I took the three trains back to the restaurant. 

I entered the establishment slick with sweat, miserable in my own skin (I loathe summer), and explained the situation to the manager and waiters. Three employees gazed at me in shock. "And you came back?"

I once heard it said, "Whatever you do, you do for yourself." When we do things in life, we can tell ourselves that we are being selfless. But resulting feeling of satisfaction proves that it does more for us than for others. 

The manager followed me out the door, saying the clientele should only be like me. I floated back to the sadistic subway, buoyed by the joy that I had done a kiddush Hashem.

"Grosseh naar," my father said. 

"Idiot," my mother said. 

I slept the sleep of the just.

From Where? You Know.

Rabbi Yisroel Reisman is not a fan of segulos, but he mentioned this one. I like the sound of it since it is not like the usual newly-invented segulos, but one that has more history/weight. 

"Esa enai el heharim": This Shir HaMaalos (Tehillim 121) is connected to shidduchim; Yaakov Avinu supposedly said it while seeking a spouse. "Esa" connects to "nisuin," and "heharim" is "horim"—that when one is searching for a spouse, one should look to values from their own background.

But in the end, "ezri may-im Hashem"—it all comes from the Eibishter. Spouses, ultimately, is from the Big Matchmaker in the sky. 

Artwork by Jackie Olenick, jackieolenickart.com

One should say this kapitul with the following mindset: While I am in the field, I must have the proper perspective of what is important in a marriage, and understand that everything comes from God.

I like this "segulah."  

While the visual is a little grainy, there is certainly nothing wrong with the audio. A most appropriate tune for any wedding.☺

Maybelline SuperStay 14 Hour Lipstick

I initially had picked up two shades of this product because: 

1) It was almost Shavuos and I wanted to see what other longwear options were available; 

2) Perpetual Peony and Eternal Rose are probably the only two colors that have no sheen in any of the long-wearing lipsticks I checked out (unlike L'Oreal Infallible. So much glitter, feh.)

All long-wearing lipsticks cause lips to dry out. I have managed to keep lipstick on for a three day yontif, but by the time I was done my lips needed major TLC—they were dried to a crisp, flaking, and cracking.

The consistency of the Super Stay lipsticks are not quite like any long-wearing lipstick I have already tried; instead of sinking its dye into the lips, it seems to stay on top with a tacky, sticky finish. The smell, also, is distractingly sickly-sweet, but it wears off. 

I gave it a test drive a couple of days before Shavuous to see what it can do. 

Starting time: 7:45 a.m., following breakfast. All's well until 12:30, following my lunch; despite my extreme care not to let my lips come into contact with food, there is distinct wearing away on the lower part of the upper lip. So much for 14 hours; it seems to be behaving like any other lipstick I own.

This should get it thrown out of the running, except there is one perk: Usually by now, with any long-wear lipstick, my skin screams for some balm. But the tackiness of the lipstick seems to be providing sufficient moisture.

I wanted to see how it would last the night so I removed it, brushed and flossed, then applied again. This time I applied a long-wearing lipstick beneath that usually dries the heck out of my lips. 

I know for sure that my sheets unintentionally came into contact with my lips during the night, but by morning it was still wearing strong, and my lips weren't painfully dry, the way they usually are with just the long-wearing lipstick. 

I drank my morning water with a straw and carefully ate my cereal; it stayed on pretty well.

Perpetual Peony has really grown on me. It is more of a 60s-esque shade of pink, but there is a vibrancy to it despite it's paleness. Any skin color can pull it off. 

Via cheriebeautyblog.blogspot.com

Eternal Rose is a vibrant shade of pink that I also am fond of. 

Via lipstickrules.com

So, I was able to successfully use it over Yontif. My next post on the topic will explain exactly how.  

I'm Not!

30 Rock, "Reunion":

Liz has a high school reunion, but she doesn't want to go. She recalls times of being the geeky, uncool loner, mocked by the cheerleaders. Jack convinces her to attend, claiming she looks pretty good now, and he'll even loan her his jet to really make 'em plotz. 

So Liz enters the room, with her head held high. But it doesn't quite turn out as she thought. Apparently, she wasn't the "geeky, uncool loner" her memories claim she was; rather, she was the school bully, despite her braces and thick glasses. That killer whit had been used for evil, tearing down egos and tormenting, even, the popular cheerleader who's still in therapy. 

She spends the whole evening trying to prove how she's changed, only to unintentionally reaffirm her cattiness. 

Interesting, how one's perception of themselves and their past could be so off. 

Our memories can play tricks on us all the time. Like Susan Shapiro, who nursed grievances for 25 years over a "cad" and "jerk" of a boyfriend, only to remember that it was she who murdered the relationship, not him. And not only that, he was willing to support her all the way. 

Oops. 

I found it a little pathetic how despite marrying a wonderful man, she still clung to fantasies of "proving" to the ex her fantastic-ness, hoping to get him to regret letting her go. It was a quarter of a century ago, lady. Move on. Does your husband know about this?

But in any case: Record your memories accurately, just to avoid looking stupid later on. And I speak from experience. 

Here Fishy Fishy Fishy

One of my reasons for avoiding canned salmon in my sandwiches is that by the time lunch comes around, the "juice" has soaked through my bread. Ew.  

When I was younger I used to make for myself salmon patties all the time. I don't know why, but I had fallen out of the habit. I decided to reclaim that favored dish. 

The fun thing about salmon patties that you can really just add what you want. There are no rules, no official recipe needed. 

I put up in an olive-oiled frying pan some finely diced onions, and let that go a bit. Then I added finely chopped mushrooms (I've used both fresh and canned) and celery. I let the whole bunch saute until it became as small and shriveled as possible. This step isn't necessary; a ground raw onion will do the same. But I wanted to make things interesting. 

While that was cooking, I chucked two cans of salmon into a bowl along with a can of "blah" tuna that needed to be used up. I went seasonings crazy: a squirt of mustard (the regular yellow stuff is healthier than the Dijon), garlic powder (a fresh clove, smashed and diced, could be used as well), black pepper, parsley, dill, and a spoonful of mayo. 

For binding materials: bread or breadcrumbs. Usually I would use a piece of soaked stale bread, but since I didn't have any leftover challah I used Bob's Red Mill Cornmeal and Quaker Oat Bran.

I had completely miscalculated this for my first batch which fell apart, since a healthy amount of bread-ish substance is needed to absorb excess liquids. I have found 1/4 cup of cornmeal and 1/4 cup of oat bran did quite well (or 1/2 cup of either alone).

If more bind-age is needed, chuck in an egg. But I have found the bread or crumbs or meal to be enough.

I mixed into the fish mixture the onions, mushrooms, and celery from the pan. Warmed the pan up again, and not much oil is needed; just enough to coat the bottom. Fry those babies up for a few minutes on each side.

As I mentioned, my first batch didn't have enough breading agent so they oozed apart. I chucked it into my sandwich the next day; it didn't need to be pretty to be fabulously tasty. The last ones came out beautifully shaped.

If one would prefer more official recipes, just google "salmon patties"; a whole bunch of tasty options pop up. These are not only a great lunch, but perfect for dinners as well with some potatoes or pasta (whole-wheat, of course) on the side.  

Semi-Precious Engagement

One day on the train I noticed the girl next to me had on an engagement ring. 

At least, I think it was an engagement ring. The diamond on it was a microscopic fleck. 

I perfectly understand that when it comes to finances, one should always stay within their means, especially when it comes to something unnecessary like an engagement ring. However, where is it written that it must be a diamond? What if, by choosing something more affordable, like semi-precious, one could have a larger stone? 

I love colored stones. I also love large stones. If I had to choose between a huge emerald-cut "something" or a teeny diamond, I'd rather go with the "something."  

The world is filled with a bright, rainbow array of beautiful stones! Yet why do we covet the colorless ones?  ("They sparkle so," Ma says longingly . . .)

Semi-Precious Options

Citrine (quartz family) is my top love. It has a warmth to it that flatters the skin, and looks beautiful with yellow gold.

Garnets' deep red evoke "Her price is far above rubies." 

Peridot is usually an olive green, but can vary in intensity.

Topaz can be clear like diamond, but has a large range of hues and tints. There is Caribbean-beach blue, barely-there green, or citrine-like yellow, just to name a few.  

Blue Topaz

Yellow Topaz

Tourmaline also comes in many shades, and I happen to like their pinks (and I am not even a pink person). Green tourmaline can look similar to an emerald. There are also "ombré" stones that change colors.

Pink Tourmaline

Kunzite is a pale pink-violet. 

Iolite is a rich, deep blue with violet undertones.

Morganite (or "Pink Beryl") is a pale pink. 

Aquamarine (beryl family) is usually turquoise. 

Amethyst (beryl family): purple. 


Green Amethyst (quartz family) is actually regular amethyst that has been treated with heat, morphing the lavender shade to that of a refined barely-there green. 

Pearl: With a variety of prices, quality, and colors, one can have a lot of fun there. 

Alexandrite (chrysoberyl family, which is not the same as beryl): contains more than one shade in its greens and pinks.

Ametrine (quartz family) combines the two shades of amethyst and citrine, hence its name. 

Avail thyself of rainbow hues to profess thy love.

The New BYOB

My single cousin emailed me with an official flyer for a "Table for 8" function. After I emailed back that, sure, I'd come too, she emails the organizers, who fire back a response requesting photos, resumes, and boys.

Apparently, they have none.  

If I have to bring my own boy (gives new meaning to BYOB), what is the point of attending a single's event where I know all the guys already? And if they have no males, why do they need photos and resumes?

Needless to say, we revoked our interest. "I'm sorry, but I plan to have a stomach virus that Shabbos." 

I Am a Broken Shopper

Daffy's is going the way of the dodo. 

I am in a very low place right now. 

While Daffy's did have a lot of mystery-fabric junk, they also had gorgeous cotton Italian hoodies for $20. I have found great boots from there, perfect Patrizia Pepe jackets, fun vases and furniture. They had not normally funky children's clothing for a fraction of the original price. The children's shoes! Made in Italy! Naturino! Noooooooooo!

Via paintingsilove.com

Where will these wonderful finds go now? 

They said they cannot compete with T.J. Maxx and the like, but I haven't found any clothing there in a really long time. Certainly no wacky tights, or non-binding Hue socks, or Kangol hats that have been seriously reduced. 

Some of my first childhood memories were in Daffy's. Ma dragging me around when I screamed I wanted to leave already; waiting in the car while she returned something; then finally, when I decided I liked shopping at 17, eagerly sifting through the newly arrived Italian-made merchandise. 

The stores will be liquidating its schoira now, so dejectedly shuffle over to see if you can find anything before the lights go out. 

Yontif Eyeshadow

It has become obvious to me that amongst my matte powder eyeshadows, not all are created the equal. For instance, whenever I wear Illamasqua eyeshadow in Incubus over Shabbos, even with shadow primer, it is very possible a good chunk of it will be worn off by morning. 

However, the Stila Matte Mineral Eyeshadow in Sajama (a deep blue-ish gray) that I bought on Ebay lasts pretty much, well, forever with primer. I kid you not—three days of yontif, three days of eyeshadow. It's like a holiday miracle. 

When I initially bought Sajama it had already been discontinued; I had simply done a search for "matte gray eyeshadow," and there it was on Ebay. From what I have read about the other discontinued Stila Mineral Matte shades, such as Nanda Devi (a chocolate brown), they are also amazingly long-wearing. 

Nanda Devi

I'm doing research do find what other colors have great staying power—I have heard that Make Up Forever and Nars eyeshadows last long, but I really can't prove it at the moment. I simply purchased another pan (it doesn't come in a holder) of Sajama.

Sajama

But know this: Sajama is very dark. 

Via karlasugar.net

Sajama is second from the left, and Nanda Devi second from right. Certainly not for those who prefer milder shades. 

I have noticed that darker pigments will last longer than lighter ones. Since I don't mind some makeup drama, that works for me. But for those preferring less intense color, the search may take a while.

(Yes, I know it's not Yontif for a while yet, but this is the time to plan. It's so sad to see frantic women in the drugstore makeup aisle on erev holiday, unsure what will last. I once gave a woman a whole tutorial in front of the Revlon display. Experiment now.)