Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Get Satisfaction

I met a friend for lunch. When the bill came, I plunked down some cash and airily told the waitress to keep the change. 

Three hours later and halfway across the city I froze. I had underpaid.

Oh, shoot

In my defense, I cannot add. When scientific calculators were granted to us in high school I was weeping with joy; I aced my algebra exams but basic math functions is still beyond me.

It was a broiling summer day, and the idea of plunging into the hellish abyss of the subway was daunting. So I began to tell myself that I was imagining things. That I skimped the bill by only less than $3. That, c'mon, you know you can't add, so how can you know for sure if you underpaid?

But  I was raised in a rather moral household, and an invisible hand had clenched my innards; I knew I would have no peace unless I rectified the matter.

I took the three trains back to the restaurant. 
I entered the establishment slick with sweat, miserable in my own skin (I loathe summer), and explained the situation to the manager and waiters. Three employees gazed at me in shock. "And you came back?"

I once heard it said, "Whatever you do, you do for yourself." When we do things in life, we can tell ourselves that we are being selfless. But resulting feeling of satisfaction proves that it does more for us than for others. 

The manager followed me out the door, saying the clientele should only be like me. I floated back to the sadistic subway, buoyed by the joy that I had done a kiddush Hashem.

"Grosseh naar," my father said. 

"Idiot," my mother said. 

I slept the sleep of the just.


Mystery Woman said...

Lol...you had me laughing at the end. You did good!

FrumGeek said...

Hahah! I actually had a similar story occur to me, but it was only 7 blocks or so, some three hours later.

tovah said...

So proud of you.

I remember years ago, I found a diamond tennis bracelet on the ground outside a spa.

At that time, I was barely making ends meet and taking on every single job I could get.

I saw that bracelet and I wanted it soooooo bad, but I knew that I could never wear it unless I attempted to find it's rightful owner. I left my name with the doorman and told him I found the bracelet and I thought I would go home and put a notice in the paper and, after that, I would feel pretty much ok keeping the bracelet.

I had barely gotten home when the phone rang. A woman had taken the bracelet off to have a manicure and never reclasped it correctly. She said that she was just SO THANKFUL AS IT WAS A GIFT FROM HER HUSBAND, THE LAWYER.

I gave her my address and told them they could pick it up that night.

When her husband came over to my very humble apartment, he said thanks and that he would really do something special for me.

I really didn't expect a reward, but I thought maybe I'd get 20 bucks, which I could use.

Never heard from them again.

Thanks alot big shots in your Lake Shore Condo.

Princess Lea said...

I suppose you should be happy he didn't sue . . .

MIghty Garnel Ironheart said...

Good on ya! That's how a Jew should behave.

Tovah11 said...

pl: LOL. Never thought of that. I'm so lucky.