Friday, December 21, 2012

Somebody Save Me

I've just spent a rigorous weekend of childcare, reprogramming children to saying "please," putting them to bed way before their bedtime so I can get some peace, and repeatedly packing away the toys so the toddlers will happily keep on playing (no child is interested in blocks unless they can turn the bin upside down).

My roommate was a congested three-year-old who snored as loudly as she ground her teeth.  

I staggered downstairs in the morning after waking up at 3:07 and unable to fall back asleep, to a table of expectant children who have different breakfast requests. 

Thank heaven for the various televisions, except I was scurrying from floor to floor due to technical malfunctions.  
http://friendsdatingblogspot.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/meet-someone-fall-cry-for-help-ecard-someecards_large.jpg
"I need to get married," I tell Luke when he finally returns to reclaim his offspring. "I need to get married so I won't have to take care of children anymore. Well, I mean that I can work up from one to a few, rather than getting ten at once." 

He looks a little panicked. 

"That's right," I told him. "No more outings for you." 

7 comments:

Mighty Garnel Ironheart said...

> "I need to get married," I tell Luke when he finally returns to reclaim his offspring.

Darling, you're clearly missing what comes after love and marriage if you think you're not in for this afterwards!

Mr. Cohen said...

Teaching children to saying "please" is very praiseworthy.

Princess Lea said...

MGI: I said so! I mean that I won't get ten kids at once!

Mr. C: Thank you. I also teach them that.

Anonymous said...

http://thepartialview.blogspot.com/2012/02/intermarriage-solution-for-shidduch.html

Princess Lea said...

TPV: I happen to not believe in the shidduch crisis, the same way I don't believe in Santa Claus.

Your idea, however, is not that original; after the war there were many such "intermarriages."

BC said...

One can be single and not be the family babysitter..

Princess Lea said...

BC: I do like hanging out with the kiddies, and barricading myself in my bedroom while my mother collapses doesn't seem to be kind.