Wednesday, September 18, 2013


"Mazel tov!" I wish her heartily. Her son has recently become engaged, and I am truly happy for her and her family. 

"IY'H by you of simchas bikarov!" she quickly rattles off. 

Look, I am giving you a "mazel tov." Keep it, it's free, I've got plenty more in storage. 

Who's to say my life is lacking simcha? I have a large, wonderful, family, kinfauna I love dearly, celebrations by others that I merrily partake in; what is this assumption that my "mazel tov" should returned or exchanged? That I can't spare it? I have enough of my own simchos, thank you!

Flinging my "mazel tov" back in my face is merely an unnecessary reminder that I am single. I'm single? Who knew? I completely forgot! 

I hate to state the obvious. I hate it more when others do.

I am wishing you "mazel tov" because I am happy for you. I rejoice with you. Your son getting engaged really has nothing to do with me one day getting engaged. It sounds the same, but it's not.

Let's just focus on one celebration at a time, shall we? So here is my "mazel tov," gift-wrapped, topped with festive ribbon. It's yours. All you have to say is "Thank you." 


Anonymous said...

As an older single male, This happens a lot. It's not worth getting upset, Just smile and say Amen. Most of the time the people wishing it to you are sincere and care about you and want to see you happy.

I usually comment around this time of year, I read your blog daily and just want to wish you a happy and healthy year, May all your Tefilos be answered for the good.
Good Yuntif!

tesyaa said...

She feels uncomfortable that she's celebrating and that you're not. Her discomfort is showing. That's her problem, not yours.

Unknown said...

I read your blog, and love it. Wishing you a new year of health, happiness and continuing success. Chava.

Tovah11 said...

I agree with Tesyaa.

She was feeling guilty for feeling so good.

I know that I told you this before, but at a brunch for a wedding I went to, a woman asked what was wrong with me that I wasn't married yet.

I swore I wasn't going to another one of those things and I don't think I did.

Totally rude and done with a table full of people waiting to see my reaction.

shhh said...

Or? Perhaps she was returning the good wishes to everyone who wished her a mazel tov. To the singles, the young married, the old marrieds, and the bubbies. Just wishing more simchos by all. Like many many women i've listened to replying to the mazel tovs they got. Try it next time, hang around near by and see if they don't wish non-singles simchos by them too b'karov. Be dan l'kaf zchus, and take away the yuck feeling too! 2-in-1

Princess Lea said...

Anon: I wasn't upset, exactly. And I did smile and say amein. But I was a tad annoyed at her reaction; couldn't she have just smiled and said amein, too?

I thank you for your continued patronage! Thank you again for your kind wishes; I wish so by you as well!

tesyaa: Obviously. But her son was no spring chicken; she was on the other side for years as well. It's that convenient forgetfulness . . .

Chava: Thank you! And so by you!

Tovah: That is enough to make someone swear off party-going. At one engagement party I was literally throwing myself violently behind flower displays so "certain" people wouldn't have an opportunity to say anything to me. Ah, the human dodgeball.

Princess Lea said...

shh: True. She just seemed very nervous when she said it. Ah well. I shall take your words to heart.

Tovah11 said...

I really can't describe the awful feeling that women inspired in me. Like I had something to apologize for and she put me on the spot. I can't believe that someone would deliberately make me feel so bad.

Princess Lea said...

While I tell myself that only someone supremely pathetic would make a point to say something so incredibly hurtful, I find that rationalization doesn't help much with that feeling as though one has been punched in the gut.