Friday, April 4, 2014

Casting Aspersions Upon My Name

I have heard stories of innocent people "imposed upon" by the unkind, and wondered, how is it possible that someone, minding their own business, can have their lives taken out of their hands to such an extent? 

I experienced this but slightly, and I am awash in sympathy. 

A relative called up gushing that a shadchan was "willing" to see me. Me! Little old me! Another shadchan out of hundreds who is possession of my basic information! 

As per what I believed to be her request, I e-mailed the so-called shadchan that did she want to meet me? What time would be conducive for her

The relative called back, sputtering, at my lack of conduct; I was supposed to be slaveringly grateful that such an eminent woman would even deign to cast her lofty eye upon my meh self. Apparently, this shadchan had texted her in so-called befuddlement as to the inept phrasing of my missive. 

What followed was brisk instructions; here is the phone number for this elevated being, with the reminder that I am merely a humble applicant for her magical services, and should behave according to my lowly rank

I called her. Five times. A child told me her mother would call me back; I then left two machine messages. Thoroughly furious at this point after being made to look incredibly stupid, and for no reason to boot, I then washed my hands of the affair, able to report to the relative that I did my part, now get off my back.

A month later the relative relates that her own neighbor met up with this shadchan, who gushed her eagerness to become acquainted with me. Ergo, said the irritated relative, why did you not make the effort? I did, I said flatly, five times. She now has in her possession my e-mail address and phone numbers, and due to the wonders of modern technology, computers and telephones operate in both directions. Huff, went the relative.

I refused to call again, so Ma did. The shadchan, with a distinctly annoyed tone, replied, as though dealing with a slow individual, that she has my information, and she will call when she has something. Now, she is quite swamped with work, begone.

The following evening she introduced herself to Luke at a simcha, purring how she is so sorry for being unable to meet me, as she is so very busy, you understand, but that I am paramount in her priorities. And, she added with a delicate giggle, she was perhaps not the nicest to his mother, but again, she is so very preoccupied.

Luke, who did not know of the whole "much ado about nothing" to date, was quite touched by her sincerity and consideration, and called, referring to the woman in glowing terms.

It did not take long to realize what is going on here. We have another candidate for "New York Yentas"; while claiming to be a shadchan, she does not actually have any eligible males to set up. But she cannot let go of this status, her only means to glory, and so informs all and sundry of her burning desire to meet me, appearing kind and generous, whereas I, therefore, am apparently ungracious and ill-mannered.

Now I have a slight inkling of what it is liked to be unjustly framed for a crime.           


Maya Resnikoff said...

I must say that "shadchan" is not exactly displaying the best of middot. Honestly, it rubbed me very much the wrong way. What a way to take a way of helping others and turn it into self-aggrandizement. Ugh.

Princess Lea said...

My mission is to remove any sort of magic powers from the self-annointed "all powerful." The shidduch-system is at its most valid when "everyday" individuals cook up introductions, not when the unaccredited claim specialty status.

Meaning: No one has to take this. It is NOT hishtadlus.