Harry: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally: Which one am I?
That is one of my favorite quotes from When Harry Met Sally. I could watch that movie over and over; it contains so many truths about human nature.
I'm sure many take one look at me and think "high maintenance." I'm sure many of my readers will think "high maintenance." Dates have bolted thinking I am "high maintenance." I happen to not think of myself as "high maintenance."
But you wear makeup! You pursue clothing! You frantically preserve your skin! Guilty, guilty, aaaaaand guilty.
When I asked around how one qualifies as being HM, I received similar answers. The true HM is when someone needs other people to maintain them; manicurists, hair stylists, personal shoppers, maids, etc. Whatever I do, I do relatively alone; my own nails, my own hair (unless it's a simcha), I shop sales, I can scrub a pot. HMers aren't willing to flow with "imperfection"; they need everything just so, and harass others to get what they want.
Perhaps I am trying to convince myself, but I think I'll allow it.
And the conversation continues:
Harry: You're the worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
Harry: You don't see that? Waiter, I'll begin with a house salad, but I don't want the regular dressing. I'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. "On the side" is a very big thing for you.
Sally: Well, I just want it the way I want it.
Harry: I know; high maintenance.
I'm in the clear!